Elisa ♥

I was becoming a cliché, the one thing I never thought I would be okay with being.

A girl in love.

Or maybe the feelings that I was currently having weren’t love but, just a feeling of deep attraction.

Or maybe there was something in the water.

I don’t know but, I do know that whenever I looked over and saw Sawyer I felt happy, I was glad he was here with me and tangible.

We were sitting at the small round table in the kitchen our fingers intertwined each others. I let the finger on my free hand trace over his hands, the only part of his body that wasn’t covered that morning.

I looked up to see Rosa staring at us from her spot in the by the blender.

“Sickening, I know” I said to her.

She just smiled, and turned the blender on.

 I was hoping to get at least a laugh out of her, she hadn’t been her usual chatty self this morning.

 “I’m sure Julie will be up soon,” Sawyer said as Rosa came over with her newest smoothie concoction, an orange-peach-berry mix.

“Whenever is fine,” Rosa smiled, as she poured herself a bowl of cereal.

The evening we came back from the picnic I wanted to talk about and know everything that had happened.  But, when we got to the house Juliana said she had a headache and didn't feel goof and when we got inside, she threw up. After drinking some water she had fallen asleep within minutes in the extra bedroom. I wanted to talk to just Sawyer then but, Logan was had been there so, we settled for pleasantries instead.

Sawyer had checked on Juliana every now and then but, she had slept through the entire rest of the day and night.

“Are you leaving?” Rosa asked

“What do you mean ?,” I asked

“I mean-- I get it—I do-- I guess I just want an answer. We just moved in and I didn’t know if  . . . “

“I don’t really know yet, “ I lied.

 I was almost positive I was going back home. Seeing Sawyer reminded me of everything I was leaving behind and how much I needed stress and all the other crap that comes with life to keep going.

I knew I would of course come back for her wedding.

Rosa simply nodded and went back to her cereal and we continued to eat in silence.

“You know, Elisa I would really appreciate it if you talked to Julie, she seems  . . .  I don’t know , like I said she never told me anything but, maybe because I’m a guy-- I don’t know.”

“Sure,” I agreed, “I’ll go see if she is awake,”

I walked down the hall went into the spare room.

She was sitting on the floor folding what looked like clothes into small neat squares.

“Hi, Juliana” I said, “I bought you some breakfast.”

 “Thanks,”she said.

She looked at the smoothie where I had put it but, she didn’t pick it up.

“So,Sawyer told me you are the one I should be thanking for getting the money together.”

She didn’t respond but started to sip on the smoothie, her hands went through her hair it looked like they were shaking.

“Are you okay ?” I asked

She nodded

“I think something is bothering you and I want to listen. I think we could be friends, now. I mean I know you won’t be welcome back here”

“I’m fine,”she said

“It’s just Sawyer said you’ve been quiet and you never explained the bruises on your neck, did this Brad guy do something bad to you ? What about his son ? You can tell me.” I assured her

She didn’t say anything, but ran her hand over the dark spots on her neck.

I had a bunch of other go to lines but, I decided to let  “saying the right thing” go out the window and told her what I thought.

“Look here is the deal most men who have to pay for sex are a pussys and jackasses and should spend their life in one of two places. In therapy or raked over the burning coals of hell in the Miami sun.  The worst ones are the ones who take advantage of people because they know they can.  I-“

“I did things. I don’t want to talk about,” she explained.

“Did he ever force you ?”

“No, not really,” she said in a tiny voice.

“I know I don’t know you but, Sawyer says you are different,”

“Sawyer cares” she said.

“Will you atleast tell me what he paid you to do ? I just want to know you are okay, I won’t tell Sawyer”

“The usual and  other things, he said to do. He  . . .  I guess he really liked it,” she laughed like she was remembering a fond memory.

“I’m sorry, I don’t follow”

She was rubbing the calluses on her thumbs, she looked on the verge of tears.

“Okay, well hey if you come down we can all go and straighten this whole mess out with Caine.”

 She nodded, a more genuine smile came on to her face.

I headed back downstairs to see Sawyer and Rosa sitting in silence.

 “I think we should leave her alone about it,” I told him, “She got the money that is all that is important. We should respect her privacy”

 “I think we should go and see her parents before we go and see Caine,” he said, “I think it would make her really happy.”

“If you think so,” I agreed, “And then we have to go back to Florida”

Rosa gave me a look

“He’s on probation.” I explained

She gave me another what-the-hell look.

“I’ll explain later,” I told her.

Juliana came downstairs 5 minutes later, the bruise on her face and the ones on her meck almost undetectable.

“Good morning, Julia,” Sawyer said.

“Good morning,”

We took the long walk down the street to the Reese’s house. I wasn’t thrilled about being there but, I needed to have Sawyer in my sight for a little while longer. We were almost  at the door when we heard voices coming from the backyard

We watched as Juliana followed the voices to the back porch.

“Mom,” escaped out of Juliana’s mouth and she walked up to Mrs. Reese and gave her a hug.

Her mother didn’t return the hug but took her by the shoulders, “Juliana, please, so much emotion,”

Mr. Reese walked up to them an put his through some of his daughters hair.

“Your hair, what happened to it?” He asked

”It was your crowning glory. Wait,-- better yet are you pregnant ? Is that why you are back so soon ? Where is Mr. Miller ?,” Mrs. Reese asked.

The Reeses looked up to register Sawyer and I for the first time. I quickly pulled my hand away from his and tried to blend into the background.

And then I remembered where I was.

“What are you doing with here?” Mrs. Reese snapped at me,  holding her daughter closer to her.

 “Something bad, something happened Mom I don’t think Sawyer—“ Juliana interrupted, changing the subject

Her mother put a hand over her daughters mouth

“No, Juliana.I don’t want to hear those words come out of your mouth, “ Mrs. Reese scolded her.

For someone who didn’t believe I emotions she sure believed in anger.

I could see Mr.Reese approaching Sawyer and I.

“What have you done, Mr. Miller ?” he asked, “Is my daughter not good enough for you ?”

“I am very sorry about all of this,” Sawyer began,”I know, I shouldn’t have agreed to marry Juliana I like her a lot and I think we’d be great friends but, I’m in love with someone else. I –“

“You don’t get to just leave your wife for someone who obviously has no respect for our way of life,”Mr. Reese said.

He seemed to have put two and two together with me standing there.

“By not doing Caine’s wishes you are disrespecting him," Mr. Reese added,  "and Caine is only looking out for . . . “

I drifted off in Mr. Reeses speech when I noticed that Juliana and Mrs. Reese had gone inside. Looking through the giant porch window I saw Mrs. Reese was hanging up a phone and Juliana looked on the verge of tears.

Mrs. Reese opened the window

“I’ve called Caine he said he will sort this out,  I suppose you may come inside,” she called to us.

We went inside the house, I stood by the couch while the Reeses bordered Juliana and Sawyer on the couch.

“Do you see this picture ? Did you see the work we put into this ?”she said holding up the wedding photo and shoving it into Sawyer’s hands.

Do you see that picture ? I see two people forced to stand together for the masses.

“Where is her ring ? Did you take that back ?” Mrs. Reese snapped at Sawyer

“I didn-“

“I lost it.” Juliana said, the first thing she had said in while, “ I’m sorry I can replace it.”

She was wiping tear after tear off her cheek.

“You have no respect for all Caine has done for us, Juliana how can you be so ungrateful ? We taught you som much better .”

Mrs. Reese continued with her chastising and reasoning until a Lexus pulled up.

Would he ever upgrade to a Maybach or something ?

Caine walked through the door and greeted the Reeses with hugs

“Melanie. Dan.”

Caine turned and took in the  sight of the 3 of us. Together.

He almost had a human “oh, shit” moment.

“Looks like a reunion,” Caine said, “ Last to know. Funny I thought I’d be the first to know,”

“I am so sorry to bother you-“ Mrs. Reese began

“No, no anything for you, my dear,” he told her.

“They won’t stay in the marriage, he wants to leave her for that girl and, I mean we had expectations—“

“I think I should  to talk to them alone, why don’t we go back to my home –“ Caine suggested

“I don’t think so,” I said

I was sure there was no coming out of there.

“No one asked you.” Mrs. Reese said.

“I’m not going anywhere alone with him,” Sawyer added.

“That’s fine,” Caine said taking a seat, “We can do this here.”

“Now, Juliana” said Mr. Reese,” Let Caine hear you explain to Mr. Miller how you want to stay in the marriage and the importance you hold the marriage and you want him to cooperate too.”

“He is cooperating,” said Juliana her voice inaudible over the sudden emotional tears she was shedding, “I don’t want to force him.”

“Now Juliana,” her mother said, “You are one of the only perfect United Light girls He will learn to love you more than anyone else. What makes you think he would have to be forced to be with you ?”

I’ll take this one, because Caine isn’t beyond bribes, kidnapping and other mindgames.

 “Beacause,” Juliana said letting her hand hover over Sawyer’s.  “ I’m pregnant.”

“What ?” Sawyer and I said in unison.

There were shrieks of happiness from the Reeses but, I was already gone.

I stormed out I don’t know where I was heading, I just had to get away from these people.

I was barely out the door when I heard Sawyer behind me.

“Elisa !” he called after me.

“What the hell do you want ?” I asked.

We were standing outside on the sidewalk of the Reese’s house. There were a few people watching but, most looked uninterested.

“Why are you so mad ?” He asked, in a calmer tone

“I’m sorry you want me to stay in there, where I am the “other woman” ruining  a marriage and now a family. You slept with her, I mean I know I have no right to complain, I wasn’t exactly waiting for you –“

“What the hell is wrong with you ? I never slept with her.  Are you kidding me ? That baby is obviously Brad’s or who ever the hell else she slept with.”

“Do you hear the words coming out of your mouth ?,”

“Do you ?” he laughed, “ Come on this explains so much. She found out she was pregnant that was why she was trying to sleep with me at the hotel. This explains her different behavior  . . . she’s sleeping more , she’s not eating and remember she threw up the other night.  Her parent’s or Caine would freak out on her if she told the truth. Juliana’s parents are all she has so, I am willing to go along with this lie while we are here . . .  for her sake. She is obviously really freaked out.”

“Where does that leave me ?,” I asked, “Am I supposed to leave . . . Do I stay ?”

“Why don’t you go hang out with Rosa and  I promise we will be out of here before sunset,”

“And after this ?”

“What ?”

“Sawyer I don’t know if you know this but one of the effects of pregnancy is having a baby and by baby I mean another person.”

“Elisa, I will be there for her. I have to be, but I don’t see why that has to affect us. We don’t even know what she is going to do. Can we just get out of here first.”

“I want to be out of here by 10PM.” I said, “I’m driving.”

 

***

When I walked back in to the Reese’s house it was as if before never happened. 

Juliana’s tears were gone and she was silently listening to her mother go on about pregnancy. When Mrs. Reese saw me she smiled.

“Why don’t you come join us Mr. Miller, I’ll make coffee we can talk about how your marriage is going. It’s obviously been very productive,” she smiled.

“May I steal Sawyer for just a second, “ Caine asked her.

“Oh, of course.” She said.

Caine walked outside and I followed him on to the back porch.

“I know you have been in jail a month.” He said

Instead of answering I reached into my pocket and I gave him the check.

“It’s real,” I said.

“I admit, I thought the pursuit of an impossible task would bring you two together. I guess I was wrong. Although if she keeps this baby I am willing to play along.”

“You got everything you wanted. Julie’s pregnant and your money.”

“Here is something you don’t understand, my son.” Caine said,” I don’t want any of this. I need it. The money more than the legacy, really. Do you think it is easy to build a community like this ? I will not let it crumble over monetary concerns. I’m not proud of this, you know but utopia comes at a price.  You should see your wife. Let’s say that I owe you one”

"You don't care that you ruined 3 people's lives to get what you wanted ?"

"Do you care that you ruined a fireman's life to get what you wanted ?"

"I didn't do that on purpose, I only did it because I had to."

"Exactly. Now I have a flight to catch. I'm sure  we will see each other again I am sure. I should go say good-bye to Melanie and Dan."

He  walked back in the house and said his good byes before heading back to his Lexus.

When I  went back inside I saw the Mrs. Reese and Julie had moved into Julia’s room, sitting on her bed together.

Her room was a rose color,  it looked like a child’s room.

That’s what she was.

 A child.

 

“Hi,” Juliana smiled to me, and she opened her arms.

I walked over and hugged her, Mrs. Reese’s eyes on us the whole time.

“This is Juliana’s old room we kept it just how it was, you two can stay here tonight—“

“Oh, no we are leaving tonight.” I said

“What ?” said Julia, “No—“

“Yes,” I said, I couldn’t think of a way to remind her I was on probation without letting Mrs. Reese hear “I have to  have to get back to work,”

“You don’t—“

“It’ll be fine, Julie we can come back.”

Julie walked out of the room and into the living room.

"She's probably still upset over thinking you might leave her, I'm sure she will mind you again soon enough” Mrs. Reese said, “I hope you don’t have my daughter working. She is much too delicate for that especially now".

I wanted to roll my eyes as I remember the Reese’s giving me their daughter is “delicate” conversation before we got married. Before I had even set eyes on Juliana.

“Of course, “ I agreed.

I walked out of the room to find Juliana curled up in the armchair with her father.

“You can’t just runaway and pout, Juliana,” her father was telling her, “ You have to be sweet, that is probably why you had problems to begin with.  Talk things out, with Mr. Miller.”

She turned to see me and walked until she was standing in front of me.

 “Julie, I’m sorry but you know –“

“I know, it’s just I’m really scared of what will happen in Florida.” She said

I’m afraid you will leave me and I’ll have to go back to Brad was what she really meant.

“Juliana, I love you, “ I told her, “I’m not going to let anything bad happen to you. I will be there for you as long as you need me.”

It was the truth.

*      *      *

 

 

“This is your real address, right ?” Rosa asked, Elisa giving her a hug.

“Yes, and I will call you when I get home and everyday after, “ Elisa said

Standing next to Rosa was Cecelia who handed a CD to Elisa

“A CD of mine for the road,” she smiled

Elisa hesitated but, she hugged Cecelia

“Thanks for everything, “ Elisa said, “You treated me so nicely even though I wasn’t like you. I can’t say I would have done the same thing,” she laughed.

Cecelia returned the laugh.

“We’d better go,” I said,

This was their 4^th goodbye today.

After a few more hugs and kisses Elisa finally took the car keys from me and took the drivers seat.

I obliged to her and got into the passenger seat.

 I turned to see Juliana sitting in the backseat a booklight , a crochet needle and yarn in her hand.

Elisa gunned the engine as we headed back down the front path, waving to Cecelia and Rosa until they were no longer in sight.

After 30 minutes she turned the stereo down.

“Okay, are you really pregnant?” she asked.

“Elisa what—“

“I have to ask,” Elisa defended her self , “You just do.”

“Yes,” said Juliana, she sounded hurt as she was fighting with the tangled piece of yarn.

“You know you can always get a —“

“Elisa”

“What she should—“

“Elisa. Not now”

“Okay, whatever,”

She drove for another hour in silence. There was a distance between us.

I felt her hands creep across the front seat and over to my hands. At Dade County I had become used to seeing my scars and so had the other offenders I was with. But being outside in the actual world I felt compelled to cover them because everywhere I went there was new faces, new eyes.

“Sawyer,” Elisa said, in what on anyone else would have been a  forgiving tone.

 “I am angry. I don’t know exactly why but, I am. And I don’t want to be mad at you because I should be happy. Happy that you are alive, that you are okay and that we can be together.  So, I am choosing to be happy.”

“That’s not like you.”

“Some of that United Light crap makes sense, go figure.”

“I know, like how I think I might get Caine.”

“Now that is crazy talk.”

“I mean, I understand how the power could go to his head. I mean when I was dealing drugs to those high powered guys  it was like I could have control over their lives with one picture. I understand how money makes us do extreme things because money equals power.”

“I don’t want to hear that,” Elisa said, “I don’t want to hear about you dealing drugs or anything. That part of your life is over. Forever”

“Yeah, “ I agreed,”So, what happens when we get back.”

“Well, I assume I still have a job at the diner, if not I’ll find a job. I go back to school next month and we can hopefully pick up the pieces of your life and put them back together. I mean you can live with me . . .”

“What about,” I mouthed and nodded my head back to Julie who was very into the ticking of her needles.

“How ultra-bitchy would it be if I said I don’t want her in my apartment.”

“The bitchiest.”

“I know. She can stay too, I guess.”

***

I knew Elisa wanted to get me back to San Costa as soon as possible and  didn’t want to stop but, she ultimately gave in and stopped at a hotel on the side of the highway in Florida.

“Book two rooms,” Elisa said to me as we walked up to the front desk.

I settled for a 2 bedroom suite.

“Hey, Julie tell me if you need anything,”  I said to Julia when we got into the suite.

“Thanks,” she whispered and went to her bed.

I went into the other bedroom to see Elisa already in bed also.

“So, were going to live together ?” I said, kissing the side of her face and lying down next to her.

“Well, my grandmother is probably rolling over in her grave and fighting her way out but, I mean you don’t have a place to stay.”

“It’s going to be weird living in the same building as Sid, though” I said

“Oh,please,” she said, “Sid doesn’t know the meaning of awkward and you know what you can do better than that Diner job, let him have it”

“We both can. But, it was like my home away from home, you know ? It’s where we met ”

“We have to move on eventually. It’s hard but it’s a part of life. Like when you go from high school to college.”

“I hated high school and if I remember it you said you did too.”

“Go ahead, ruin my metaphor,” she laughed, “Are we done with the small talk ?”

 “I was waiting for you,”  I said as she started unbuttoning my shirt

***

We pulled into San Costa the next night, Elisa drove to the Mockingbird where at the door there  were a bunch of sticky notes with messages for me.

“Shit,” I said under my breath.

Most of them were from the Hendrix Group, the legal consulting firm who had managed my early release.

As Juliana opened the door, I heard Elisa gasp as she walked inside.

“I can’t believe you had to live like this,” she said. I had no idea who that was directed at.

“Elisa, it’s all in the past. I would give it all up again for you so, let it go.” I attempted to make her feel better.

We picked up our stuff and went back to Elisa’s apartment.

“I can’t believe it’s still here,” she said walking inside, “Home.”

“Me either,” I added,”Your landlady was on the war path last month,”

She walked around and inspected everything.

“Hey, Juliana you can have the fold out bed,” Elisa said.

Julie sat on the couch and went back to knitting whatever she had started 12 hours ago. It looked the same to me.

I followed Elisa into her bedroom.

“I am kind of glad you had to give all your crap away,” she said as she threw herself on the bed.

“Why ?”

“Because it would all clash with my stuff.”

“I had some pretty nice stuff,” I told her.

She just laughed and was already calling Rosa.

 

 

 

Later that night, I felt Elisa’s hands on my shoulders rocking me hard back and forth. Elisa never touched me like that, she still touched my scars like they would hurt me.

I turned to see Julie next to me, motioning me outside of the room.

“What- -Are you okay ?” I whispered once we were in the living room.

There were tears in her eyes.

She shook my head.

“I’m not pregnant,” she said.

“What ? “ I couldn’t believe this, “Why would you lie about that ? Are you just saying this ?”

She shook my head no.

“I can’t be, “ she said

"Why didn't you say something in the car ?"

"You were nice to me . . . sorry,"

“Why did you lie ?”

 “I had to,” was all she said.

I wanted to sympathize with her lie but, I was just  frustrated by never getting a clear answer from her.

“I’m going to need more than that,” I said

She started rolling up the sleeve on my shirt and picking at the threads in the tiny buttons on my shirt

“Juliana can you please fucking concentrate and talk to me for once, please.” I said.

Her eyes moved from the button to my eyes.

“I’m sorry,” I said, “I just feel like you are leaving me out of the loop here.”

“When I turned 13 my parents started telling me if I loved them or more importantly  loved Caine and all he had given us I had to do certain things, be a certain way. I couldn’t leave the commune or I couldn’t talk to this person. And when I was caught sneaking out and learned words like commune I was  locked in my room for hours at a time as punishment, the key on my desk reminding me not to do it again. They wanted me to be perfect, they said I had to be protected . . . it would make me a better person. When I was 17 they asked me to do harder things like get married and be happy and have a baby or it meant I didn’t love them. I was scared if I wasn’t pregnant they would make me marry Caine or go back to being locked in my room forever.”

I was angry with her.

With her parents too. Parent’s love should not be contingent on obedience to some cults laws. But, I knew that  if Juliana had told her parents the truth she would lose her ability to have a choice. I was also quite impressed because that was the longest string of words I had heard come out of her mouth since I met her.

I still wanted to address the ‘I cant be’ she said earlier.

“So, you never slept with Brad.”

“No. Never.”

 “So, why were you sick, before ?”

“I don’t know.”

I imagined it really was the heat exahuastion.

“Elisa will be glad to hear this. Hey listen Julie we will figure something out,” I said

*   *   *

I woke up to the sound of Elisa moving around the room. I looked over at the clock, it was the afternoon.

“I overslept.”

“It’s not like you had anywhere to be,” she said, “It’s not like I have anywhere to be. I think I may have to ask Sid if I still have a job. What are you going to do today ?”

“I’m going to head over to the The Hendrix Group,” I told her.

“I’ll go with you,” Elisa said,” You could ask them about a divorce,”

“What are you talking about ?”

“Well, I mean you don’t want to stay married to Juliana do you ? I mean I know it means nothing but, I don’t want to be living with a married guy.”

“I guess we could do that.”

I took out the shirt and pants from the suit Sid had given me so long ago and put them on and followed Elisa out of the bedroom.

Juliana was under the covers of the bed, looking through Elisa’s high school yearbook, she was wearing my sunglasses.

“Are you okay ?” I asked

“I feel sick” she said

“I’m going to see Helen, did you want to come ?”

She shook her head no.

“Want to go now ?” Elisa asked pulling a sleeve of Ritz out of the box

“Sure,” I agreed.

We headed out of the door to the parking lot, I could see Sid’s car parked at the diner across the street.

Elisa took the passenger seat this time.

It felt so good to be driving around San Costa for once. No buses with sketchy strangers and bored looking people. I drove on to the highway until we were in downtown Miami, I saw Elisa’s face was glowing.

“You look happy,” I observed

“I forgot how much I missed this place.” She sighed

I found the block where the Hendrix Group offices were located and barely fit the car in a space right in front. 

When we walked inside there was a waiting room but, everything was empty even the front desk.

“Guess we came at a bad time ?” Elisa asked.

“I guess so,”

As we turned to leave I saw Helen walking towards me, she looked happy to see me. I guess they hadn’t found out I went against my probabtion.

“Sawyer, so good to see you.” She said.

“You too.” I said, “I got your messages.”

“Oh, right. You know Sawyer you were the exact kind of person I joined this organization for. Good people who make one mistake but get lost in the system. And I know this is a bit much but, I’m offering you a job.”

“What  kind of job ?” I asked

“Well, it’s more of a legal assisting type of thing you’d be assisting us with lots of things around the office and maybe even talking to a few people. I know from your file that you are unemployed.”

“I don’t know, I mean I have a college degree,”

“Well, it is an entry-level position for a post-grad and it will be hard getting work with your record,” she explained, “It is salaried,”

“I don’t know,” I said

“Oh, come on,” said Elisa,”It’s a great offer and until something else comes along, it’s a lot better than what you had and you’d be helping people”

“The salary is 41 a year,” Helen added.

“Okay, yes. If you are offering I would like to take the job.” I gave in.

That was a little more than I made at the Diner.

Helen continued to give me a list of things I needed in order to be officially hired.

 

Elisa and I headed back to her apartment so, I could get my paperwork together for the  Hendrix Group.

“Hey Julia,” I called when we went inside.

“Is she here ?,” Elisa asked looking around.

“She said she was sick, right ?”

We combed the apartment but, there was no sign of her.

“Uh, Sawyer don’t get pissed,” Elisa said walking towards me with the pink phone Julie had bought from the drugstore.

“What ?”

She handed me the phone.  The screen had 24 new text messages from the last 3 days.

All of them from Brad

Hey, pmpkn cum by ltr, lol ???

Didn’t hear from u r u ok ?

I have a gift 4 u ? Cum by 2nite ?

Did I do smthing wrong ?

Call me, when u get this.

I still luv u, call me, k ?

God, this guy was such a pervert.

“You think she is with him ?” Elisa said

“I know she is. I’m going to the Diner.”

“Why ?” Elisa asked following me  as I headed out the door, "It's kind of a weird time to eat crappy food."

“I am going to ask Sid where Brad lives so, I can go and get her.”

“Go and get her ? Do you want me to tell you everything that is wrong with that sentence?”

“Elisa, he obviously did something to mess with her, I’m not going to let him do it again.”

Elisa followed me as I walked across the street to the Sunset Diner. I considered going through the back door but, decided better of it and walked through the front door.

I was expecting to talk to Sid but, I saw someone better sitting at the counter drinking coffee.

Brad.

He caught my eye and looked away. He remembered my face from when I had sold him meth. I suppose I was a lot more memorable with the scar on my face. He expected me to ignore him but, I went up to where he was and sat down next to him.

“Where is Juliana ?” I asked.

“I’m sorry,” he said

Elisa stepped infront of me and showed Brad the face of the cell phone.

“If I were to press  call I wonder whose phone would ring,” she said.

“ Right. You should know she’s not giving her  to just anyone anymore," Brad said smugly, " The only person who has been getting any of her sweet ass is me. You going tell me how you got her phone ?”

“I’m a friend of hers,” I said trying to ignore his comments

“Drug dealers are not friends,” he said, "I remember you."

“I’m not a drug dealer, we were working together. So, tell me where the hell she is.”

“Why ?  So you can go beat her up for not paying some kind of debt.  I’m not new to this world. Now, please leave me alone.”

 "Look” said Elisa,”Juliana is staying with us and we were just worried that she didn’t come home.”

I saw a change in his expression

“She came by my house around 2. She said she wanted to take a break and then she left. That's it. I called her a car.”

I looked at the clock it was almost a quarter to 5.

“Give me the number of the car company you called,” I demanded

He reached into his pocket and took out a card.

“I can send someone-“

“You’ve done enough,” I said walking out.

When we got outside Elisa took the phone from me

“What are you doing ?”

“You’re angry, let me talk to them.” She said

I drove around the apartment complex and diner while Elisa was transferred from person to person.

“The driver said he dropped her off at the Mockingbird Inn.” Elisa finally said.

“What ? Why would she go there.”

I turned the car onto the parkway and back to the Mockingbird. 

"How did you get him to talk ?" I asked her.

"You know how I feel about guys who pay for sex, right ?"

"The therapy or coals of hell thing ?"

"Yeah." she said, "And I totally think he falls under that but, he isn't trying to hurt her. He may actually have human feelings for her. He sees her as a person, he was trying to protect her from you just now"

" You are not going to make me feel bad for Brad,"

"Oh, no he is totally a jackass. You asked."

We pulled into the Mockingbird and I saw her from the parking lot, sitting outside the room door, her head was in her lap it looked like she was shaking.

“Julie!” I called to her and walked up the stairs to the room.

“Sawyer,” she said not looking up, “I was so scared . . . . locked out . . .you. . .  no one’s home.”

“Juliana, what the hell are you talking about ? What are you doing here ? We don’t live here.” I said approaching her.

“I was locked out, I lost my key,” she said,"Please, open the door. . .  I have a headache."

“Juliana, we don’t live here are you okay ?" I said pulling her up by her arm.

She screamed and put her head in my chest.

“It hurts . . ” she cried, "So much"

“What hurts ?”

“…my head."

“Your head, it hurts ?”

She was still crying hysterically.

“Baby, you have to talk to me.” I pleaded with her.

“It’s so bright,” she whimpered.

“I think you need to see a doctor,” I said.

I picked her up and carried her down the steps.

“Is she okay ?” Elisa said

“I don’t know.”

As I got closer to the car Julie started fighting me, clawing at me and dragging her feet to the ground.

“GET OFF !” she shouted at me, scratching my face.

“Why ? What’s wrong?” I asked.

“LEAVE ME ALONE !” she screamed pulling away from me and falling on the ground.

“Little help,” I said to Elisa.

She sighed and  grabbed Juliana’s legs and we forced her into the car, she kept screaming at us.

When she was in the backseat I put the locks on and started driving towards the free clinic. I could hear her crying in the backseat pulling the door and banging on the windows crying for help.

“I have no clue what has gotten into her.” I said to Elisa.

“Oh, I’ll give you a few guesses, meth, cocaine, heroine, PCP I could go on.”

“She wouldn’t do drugs. She would have told me,”

“Really ? Like how she told you she was pregnant. Oh wait that was a lie. I don't believe anything she says. Maybe she stole crack or something from Brad, I mean what else makes someone act like that ?”

She was right, the only people I had seen act that out of it were crack addicts.

“Where are we going ?” Elisa asked

“The free clinic,”I told her.

“They are going to know the minute they see her what is wrong,” Elisa pointed out

I just kept driving.

 

* * *

 

2 hours

That’s how long we had been waiting at the free clinic. I could feel Elisa losing patience with every second.

I was sitting on a couch between Elisa and Julie. Elisa was working her way silently through a NY Times Sudoku and Julia had her head tucked in my arm. She wasn’t moving only to occasionally swat at invisible flies.

When we had gotten on an empty road, Juliana had calmed down and actually fell asleep.

“This is so fucking stupid,”  Elisa said under her breath.

She had finished the Sudoku.

“Elisa,”I said

“I’m sorry but we’ve been here  for 2 hours. I know what is wrong with her, why won’ t you admit it?”

“Where are we ?,” Juliana asked coming to, her  hands covering her eyes.

“At the clinic,” I said.

“Why?” she whined,"How did I get here ?"

“Miller ?” a nurse called

I stood up and was about to take Julie’s arm when she pulled away.

 “I’m fine,” she said and started walking on her own.

 “Is this your first time here ?” the nurse asked

“Yes, “ I said

“No,” Juliana said

 I looked over at her.

She was running her hand over the bruise on her face.

“Name ?”

“Juliana Miller,” she said,”It’s so bright,” she whined

The nurse went over and turned one of the lights down and typed Julie’s name into the computer.

“What seems to be the problem ?” she asked.

“We found her outside of our former residence, saying things . . .  I don’t know she was acting . . . different. She was complaining about the sun” I said.

The nurse turned to Juliana, the look in her eyes wasn’t a pleasant one. Judging by the outfit Juliana was wearing I knew the ideas the nurse had.

“I do  have your name for a file. You came in with a nasty bruise and cocaine in your hair. Make this easy for me and tell me what you are taking,”

“What do you mean ?” she asked.

“What drugs ? I just want to help you. I won’t report you.”

“I knew it !” Elisa said.

“I’m not on drugs,” she said, wiping a tear from her eyes.

“Maybe Brad  gave them to you,” I suggested for her,”You have to be honest, Juliana.”

“ I’m not on drugs,” she repeated,”No.”

She moved her hands from her eyes, they  looked bloodshot.

“Listen to me,” the nurse said sitting at Julie’s eye level, “ I have a mother in there who’s daughter watched her father beat the crap out of her so badly she probably has 4 broken bones, I have a baby who’s parents’ can’t afford immunizations with measles and a whole list of pregnant and critically ill  undocumented people who need my help but,  I have to waste my time with every drug addict who comes in here because they are detoxing. Unless there is something you need to tell me do not waste my time.”

“I am not a drug addict you bitch,” Juliana yelled at her.

She got off the table and headed for the door. Despite the obvious push sign she continued to pull at it.

 

 “Get out of this clinic. Get a card for a rehab center on the front desk,” the nurse said opening the door for her

Elisa and I followed behind her, as Juliana headed for an emergency exit.

I took her arm and led her towards the car.

“Julie, what is wrong ?,” I asked “What the hell has gotten into you ?,”

“It’s drugs, I told you.” Elisa said.

“I never did drugs, “ she said,” “Atleast that I remember,”

“Dammit, Juliana.” I swore,"So, you don't remember whether or not you did them. Why didn't you say that earlier ?"

“Let’s just go.” Elisa said, “I can’t believe this. Can we go back to the Diner ?”

“Why ?”

“Well, I’m kind of hungry I’ve had to put up with this shit all day and I didn’t get to ask Sid for my job back earlier so . . .”

I decided she was right and headed back for the Sunset.

When we walked  in I saw Sid by the front door.

“Elisa,” he said, giving her a half hug "My favorite hostess. I heard you were here earlier today but I didn’t see you, so you’re back ?”

“Yeah, do I still have a job ?”

“Of course,” he said.

I saw Caylen and Faith were also approaching us and giving Elisa hugs, if Elisa was upset with me from the Juliana mess she had forgotten about it in the moment that all of our friends were welcoming her back.

“Since we are so happy to have you back,” Sid said, “You can have whatever you want on the house.”

 “How about Sawyer too ? He got  his first post-grad job,” she said so loudly the whole diner heard.

They all started clapping I even saw Sid give one clap

“It’s nothing major just a job at the Hendrix Group, a legal consulting firm,” I explained giving Sid a look. He was the only one who knew about my incarceration.

I turned around to see Elisa coming from the back with beers.

“I want to properly toast my man for getting a job and I want you all to join me,” she called

"You're lucky I am the manager, then" said Sid,"Because if Sawyer was there'd be no drinking on the job."

It was funny though, for a few minutes life was how it was when I was manager. All the people who I loved in San Costa around me; having fun, celebrating, drinking . . .  of course. The only thing that made it more perfect was that I had Elisa, officailly.

It was my life before Juliana.

Juliana.

I looked over at where she had been sitting to see an empty seat. I did a 360 around the restaurant and finally out the window.

She was standing in the middle of the parkway.

A car coming right at her.