10.1

After meeting and building some kind of friendship with Rosa I stopped assuming things about the United Light but they always seemed to have a way to surprise me.

I was sure I was  going to see Alice chasing a white rabbit as I stood in colorful and blooming garden.  The garden was in the back of the Rouge Hill Concert Hall and usually used the garden for elaborate outdoor concerts. I made my way over to one of the gold flecked chairs draped in lush green fabric on the back. As I took my seat I heard the beginning chords of string music coming from the live quartet behind me.

 “Did you see Cecelia at all today ?” asked Rosa coming up from behind me and taking the chair next to me.

Her mother sat next to her.

“No, she was already gone this morning when I left to your house.”

“Oh, hey—look that’s the groom,” she whispered pointing to the front.

I watched as a  young man took his place at the altar. Sam was built different than Greg who was slender and tall. Sam had the superhero physique with his thick hair, square jaw, large chest and small waist. I saw from when he turned to the side that, he seemed to have a smile on his face. 

The melodious  string music  paused for a moment and then changed to a familiar tune. Everyone’s heads turned nearly at once and I heard Rosa let out a gasp before I got my view.

There were things I hated about Cecelia. Her need to please, she was to nice and her constant calm demeanor.

 But today, coming down the aisle she looked like not only the most perfect woman in the world but also the happiest. Her usually straight and stringy hair was framing her face in princess curls kept in place by the  small flowered wreath on her veil, the lace gown poofed out every so lightly with each step, showing the tips of  a pair strappy gold sandals, the bouquet  in her hand was filled with the pinkest roses I had ever seen.. She stopped for half a second every few paces , her face absolutely glowing and when she got  to my row where I was sitting with the Ericksons she offered a wave.  When she passed Greg sitting at the front she smiled and waved under her bouquet. He responded with an even bigger smile and held up his camera to snap a picture.

As soon as she reached the altar--a gleaming metal structure made of interwoven music notes and clefs--, Sam took her hand and they took each other in. This was something to see but,  I had been dreading what happened next.

Caine officiating.

“Samuel Morgan is a lucky man,” Caine said, “Because Cecelia is tolerant enough to plan this wedding around the playoff game.”

A short rumble of laughter

I guess some social obligations never change

“However, I think these two know that marriage is a special bond and relationship that can only develop as you grow in each other. This union, like all marriages will start with smiles, will grow with each kiss and triumph and end with a teardrop. But, through it all this community will be here for you.”

I started feeling emotions, this was crazy but it was a wedding after all.

“Cecelia you will bring light into Samuels life with your beautiful music, your loving nature and kind soul and Sam you will bring light in to Cecelia’s life with your compassion, your  creative spirit and kind heart. And with that I will acknowledge this union and will give you room to prosper in your relationship.”

Caine nodded his head at Sam and then something different happened.

Sam got on his knee and pulled out a black box. He opened it and like he was proposing to her, and placed a ring on Cecelia’s finger. She picked another ring out of the box and as he stood up she put it on his finger.

After that there was a loud applause and the music in the back started up with again, I saw a tear on Cecelia’s cheek and Sam wiped it away quickly as they made their way back down the aisle and disappeared in the greenery of the garden.

Greg just seemed happy, like a proud older brother.

We made our way inside, where the  auditorium's stage  was covered in  tables. There was no main table but lots of little ones and in the center a table with wrapped gifts and a white 3 layer cake, the edges dusted in gold.

Rosa, led me to a table with a few other men and women who looked around her age while her mother went to sit with an older crowd.

“They spared no expense.”  I whispered to Rosa

“Yeah, but isn’t is nice ?” she responded

When I sat down  to the table  I was met with some questioning looks.

“Everybody this is Elisa, she is visiting for a while.” Rosa said

 I was greeted with a few hello’s as the waiter placed champagne in front of us

 “The dress was beautiful, your mom did a great job.” One of the girls, Lindsay said to Rosa

“Thanks,”

“So, where are you from Elisa ?,”Lindsay ventured

“I’m from Miami,Florida but I-“

I was interrupted by sounds of applause, I turned around to see the happy couple, Sam helping Cecelia navigate the stairs in her long dress and stilettos. They waved  back and stood as people took pictures until  the applause died down.

Cecelia  lifted up her dress a tiny bit and made her way over towards our table while Sam went in the opposite direction. She went around the table giving everybody a hug, I saw she paused when she got to me but, hugged me too.

“You look pretty,” I offered.

I expected her to move on to the next table but, she sat down in one of the empty chairs.

“How do you feel ?” asked one of the men at the table.

“I am just so happy, that was so fun all the planning and then seeing it all put together, it was like a dream  . . .I wish I could do it all over again.” She laughed, taking a sip of champagne

I’m sure every new bride said that but, I doubted most of them knew they actually might.

I looked down to see the new ring on her finger, the band was gold but, made of two treble clefs.

“So,” asked Lindsey, “What does he do I didn’t really catch it ?”

“He told me he was a painter, he sold some paintings to that new coffee shop they are building in town,” Cecelia explained

“Oh, yeah it’s a Starbucks, have you guys ever been to one ? It is amazing, “Rosa added.

“No, but I guess I will go with him when he delivers the paintings,” Cecelia said

“Maybe you’ll get free coffee,” joked someone else.

The entire conversation turned to Cecelia about what she would be doing and about every detail of the wedding planning, I had already heard a million times over. The only time they were quiet was when they served us a plate meal of grilled mahi-mahi and mango salsa. And I hate admit it but, it was really good.

I saw Caine coming towards the table with Sam at his side.

“Why don’t you start your dance?” Caine suggested,” I think some people are getting a bit tired.”

Cecelia got up and motioned to the live orchestra  and the music changed to a faster tempo that seemed to be only getting faster before it slowed down and Cecilia walked over to Sam

“It’s from Sleeping Beauty, her favorite” Elisa whispered to me as the lights went down and a spotlight  was on the two.

The two danced in a small circle on the stage it was a bit awkward as they ran into each but eventually they found a decent rhythm. About a minute and a half into it Greg stood up and Sam  let go of one of Cecelia’s hands and graciously let him cut in. Greg and Cecela waltzed across the stage in perfect unison catching every temp change in the piece; they danced through the tables giving each other those crazy looks only couples seem to give when they know everyone else is watching.

I saw Sam take Mrs. Winstons’s hand and slowly danced with her. I heard chairs move and saw Lindsey and the bald man next to her began dancing in the small corner as the orchestra put on a smoother piece.

I saw another  man who appeared to have come over from Sam’s table come over to Rosa and I

“Ms. Erickson ?” he asked and held out his hand, smiling shyly.

She took his hand and they went out onto the floor.

I was having flashbacks to middle school. I was the odd girl out but I didn’t really care, I didn’t want to be a part of this freak show.

“Elisa,” I turned to see Caine standing behind me, I jumped spilling champagne across the table.

He held out his hand and I was standing up, I followed him  on the floor, in the back, not moving,  not even touching.

“I don’t dance with the enemy” I said.

“You followed me.”

“You have information I want.”

“Well, you know if you dance with the enemy, you may learn how he thinks.”

He put my hand over his back and on his shoulder,

He did the same to me keeping his distance.

“If you know anything about me you know I don’t follow right ?” I said

“Do you know why women have to follow and men lead in dancing ?”

“Because we live in a society  that has a history of putting men over women  so,  we must be to dainty and stupid to lead?” I said sarcastically.

“No,” he said, “because when men mess up women can always blame them,”

“Don’t quit your day job,” I said, “You know leading a cult,  by the way what are the benefits of that ?”

“I don’t like the term cult. It has a negative connotation.” He said.

“It is negative, these people are  . . . crazy.”

“Crazy ? I don’t know I think they look happy.”

“Because you brainwashed them.”

“You believe in free will don’t you ?”

“Yes, and I believe you are taking away theirs.”

“Well, if you believe in every adult having free will then by telling them they can’t be a member of United Light you are taking away their free will to believe it is right.”

“Okay, I’ll admit, I may be coming around to this United Light but, it’s you I don’t like.”

“You’re jealous,”

“No,”

“Yes,you are. You see I have to blur the lines of right and wrong sometimes, I hate those lines that’s why I created a palce where they don’t t have to exist but,even if I had to break a few laws to get there. You are jealous because I don’t believe in  seeing the world as cut and dry. I don’t see black and white, right and wrong, good and bad. But, you no matter what you do always will.”

“Are you a sociopath or something ?”

“I only wish. “

I noticed the music had stopped. I looked around to see people milling around, the music had stopped a long time ago and we hadn’t danced one step.

“I think you should know, “he said, “You can follow me and if you don’t like it well, you can blame me.”

He  turned his head and took off  speak to a kindly older woman.

I went back to my seat to see Rosa staring at me

“What was that about ?”

“I have no idea.”

I didn’t I felt like Caine was talking in some kind of code to me and I didn’t like it.

Greg came over and took a seat next to me as Rosa made her way back across the stage.

“How are you doing ?,” he asked

“I’m fine,I saw you shake a tail feather out there,you were good,”

He laughed.

“So, I got a kind of promotion in the tranquility lights.”

“Oh, hey that’s good.”

“Yes, so do you know you are at the top of a watchlist ?”

“Who else is on it ?”

“I can’t say. Caine said you needed a place to stay and you had to be supervised but a watch list I mean that’s serious.”

“It’s nothing too bad,”I told him,”Caine has something I want.”

I heard the clacking of heels coming towards us and I saw Rosa walking towards us with 2 glasses filled with a glowing pink liquid.

“Here you have to try this,” she said

I tasted it,  a tart blend of earthy fruit and sweet with a bubbly after taste

“It’s Cece’s wedding cocktail, it’s pomegranate or something.”

“Yeah, because Cecelia needs more cocktails,”

Rosa ignored my comment and I let the moment pass.

I heard the sounds of static and started to hear the sounds of an amplified guitar and drum tempo.  I looked down to see a band setting up in the orchestra pit.

“More music ?”

“That’ s Cece’s brother’s band,” Greg told me, “They had to play.”

I looked around the room to see that most of the people left still talking were in their 20’s to 30’s and sipping on the bright purple drinks and mingling.

The tables were being replaced with Cecelia’s desert bar. A small buffet of every kind topping, little balls of chocolate ganache could be dipped in.

I was sure these people were crazy but they knew how to party. As the lights went down a tent, the guitar music started and the band began a cover of John Legend's Greenlight

I had never seen Cecelia so unreserved  as she turned around and danced with everyone on the stage.

I saw Rosa was back making her way to the center towards the bald guy

I looked down into the auditorium  to see a few people sitting in the audience seats. One of them was Sam. I made my way down the steps to his seat and sat next to him.

“So, are you single ?” I asked.

He turned to me and smiled.

“I’m sorry I don’t think I know you, “he said offering his hand

“I’m Elisa, I’m staying with Cecelia and Greg.”

“Oh, okay enjoying the evening ?”

“Yeah, you ?”

“Yeah,this is great,”

“So, I guess we will be roommates or something . . . .I’m not from around here-”

“Me either,”he said

“I mean I don’t subscribe to this United Light thing but, you seem very normal. Oh,-- hey what do you think about Greg ?” I asked

“I don’t know. I think I’m going to mingle with some people, I guess we will have more time to get to know each other later though.”

As he walked off I sat and watched the party from my seat—that’s what this was.

A party.

10.2

It was different seeing Cecelia again  that morning. She was back to her reserved calms self. Maybe it was because she was Cecelia Winston Hills-Morgan, now. I didn't even know is she had an original middle name.

I was sitting at the circle kitchen table with Greg at the head and Sam at the other with Cecelia and I were left filling in the sides.

Then again, the table was circle so, we were actually all even

Of course.

“Do you like scrambled hard or soft ?” Cecelia asked Sam as she cracked another egg into a bowl.

“Um, it doesn’t matter whatever you like.”

“Okay, soft,” she said

“I have a question,”I asked

They all 3 turned to me.

“What is the deal with Caine’s house on the hill, I mean can I just go up there and talk to him, knock on the door maybe ?” I asked

“Um, can you walk up to the White House ?,” Greg asked

“Well, no but that’s because they’ll pop a million caps in your ass,”I retorted, “I mean is it armed, what’s the deal  ?”

“I think you have to make an appointment at the center to see Caine,” Cecelia said

“I think I need to go down there and make an appointment,” I said to them, “I’m just going to go now.”

“Now ?” said Cecelia

“I think I have to,” I  said.

I walked out of the door and down the street and towards the center. On the way I passed by Rosa’s house. Visiting with her  was something I had been doing my past few days here. I would go to her house and  spend most of the day with her, she was the only one in this place who knew and understood things about me. She was sitting outside so, I decided to stop and say hi.

“Hi”

“Hi,”

I walked and sat on her grass.

“So, I think I am going to do something crazy,”I told her.

“You’re running away aren’t you ?”

“Yes but, I’m running away from my life," I said, "I think I want to run away to here.”

“Wow, that’s a 360”

“I know, it’s just okay so I told you about Sawyer and everything and I care about him but I want to call Caine’s game off. I think I could learn to like it here. It’s truth I’ve been avoiding.”

“What about your friends and family? And all the plans you had?”

“I had plans of working a job, wherever it is for 40 years and then—what ? I retire ? I mean if I were here I wouldn’t be doomed to that. I mean, I think criminal justice is important but, it’s really depressing, I doubted my choice all the time”

“And family ?”

“My parent’s died a long time ago.”

“Oh no, I had no idea, I’m so sorry. I can't imagine”

“It was during a hurricane, I was 17. It worked out, I got legal rights to my sister and a court appointed guardian who checked in on us every now and then and we were able to live together.”

“Don’t you have to get back to her ?”

“She’s  graduated high school last year, she’s in the Navy. They take care of her. The only other person I had a strong connection to well, I don’t know if he is worth it anymore.”

“Sawyer ? You told me you loved him,”

“I hate to throw a bunch of cliché’s out there but I don’t know what love is, I love the idea of love and the idea of him and saying I have a boyfriend but,  I don’t know if I believe love can be created like that. I just don’t know. . .  I like it here and I think Caine knows that, that’s what he was saying the other day. I know walking out is the wrong thing but, I want to do it so badly. I mean it is 2:30 on a Wedensday and you are sitting out here—what are you doing  ?”

“Taking in the sun ?”

“Exactly,doing nothing, beign care free,I mean this is like off the grid living but, nicer. I don’t think this is for everybody but, maybe it’s for me ?”

“Maybe”

“Exactly, I have made my decision. I am staying.”

“What are you going to do ?”

“ I don’t know but, first I am going to tell Caine. That he can’t use me as a pawn anymore.”

“That’s good,” she said,”Can I tell you something ?”

“Sure.”

“ I’m thinking of blue and brown.”

“What ?”

“For colors. I’m getting married.”

“What, to who ?”

“His name is Logan Sheppard.”

“Is this another Caine the matchmaker things ?”

“I love how brutally honest you are.” She said, “It’s kind of. I mean we know each other and have considered dating but, there is really no point in dating here with such a small community and anyway per the suggestion of Caine he asked me and I said yes. ”

“Why do you all feel the need to get married ?”

“Despite the United Light beliefs, we accept that we all come into this world alone and have to face the journey of life alone  and I think the fact that we have the ability to have someone be our companion on this life journey—I mean who wouldn’t want that ?”

“I never want to get married,” I told her.

“Well,I want to,” she said, “Are you going to stop talking to me, now ?”

“No, of course not,” I said,” but, if you ever want to join the bachelorettes club for life, I will leave a spot open for you.”

“Okay. And I promise I won’t get all bride and wedding crazy—I’m going to be bride, that’s crazy,” she said.

“Hey, I have to go to the center, I’m making an appointment with Caine.”

“I’ll go with you,” she said.

She helped me out of the grass and we headed towards the center. Before we got inside I saw the Lexus parked out front. Looks like Caine was in.

At the mention of who I was the tranquility light at the office door let me in.

“I’ll be right out,” I said to Rosa as she took a seat outside.

I opened the door and walked inside.

Caine was sitting behind his desk

“I’ve decided I want to stay, I want to live here. I’m no longer your bait for Sawyer.” I told him

“Alright, we aren’t using formalities I see,” he said,” But, Elisa the situation between Sawyer and I is much bigger than you, it always has  been. You were just the icing on the cake.”

“Right, I know I ruined your little marriage or whatever. But, if I do ever see Sawyer again you should know things may not work out with us so . . .  it can be like none of this happened.”

“Like I said this is bigger than you. If you want to stay that is great, I welcome you but Sawyer’s situation is his own, you have no responsibility to bear.”

“You know I still don’t like you. I imagine being here will be like being an American during  the Bush years,”

“I don’t blame you. If I refused everyone who didn’t like me, I would not be here,” he said.

“Okay then,” I said and while  I could still take the last word I walked out of the office.

I saw Rosa putting a cell phone back in her purse.

“Logan?”  I asked

“No, actually my mom.” She said, “You may be interested in this but, she wants me to deliver a quilt to someone.”

“Why would I be interested?”

“It’s going to the Reeses’”

10.3

When we  walked up to the quiet house, the door was open but, Rosa still gave a light tap on the window

A woman who looked to be in her 70’s slowly came to the door. Her curly brown hair was pulled into a short ponytail. She had soft features but a very stern look on her face.

“Rosa,” Mrs. Reese said and turned to me, ”And who are you ?”

“Hi, my name is Elisa I’m kind of new here and I realized we hadn’t met so  . . .”

She looked at me

“Do, I know your parents ?”

“No, I’m just  good friends with Rosa.”

The woman nodded.

“Mrs. Reese, I am getting married and I am trying to get some advice so I would love to hear about your daughter’s wedding. How is Juliana ayway ?,” Rosa said as casually as she could while we headed in to the house. The house  was surprisingly spacious

“She is living in Florida. With her husband.”

Ouch. I let it go.

“Do you hear from her a lot ?” I asked

“No, Caine thinks it’s important they spend their first few months  alone to get . . .acclimated.”

“So, no contact at all that must be weird.”

“Well, Caine thinks it is best. We have to let her go at some point, tough love is best.”

“You’re not worried about her ? Living with someone you have never met ?”

“Well, the boy hasn’t ever lived on a commune before and his parents seemed a little more forward thinking but, Caine is confident in it so who are we to challenge that.”

“What about love ?”

“She was young, she has time for that. The marriage is for procreative purpose and companionship she can do love when she is done with this."

I looked around at the coffee table of portraits.

The largest picture, pushed to the  front was the family outside the house, Juliana was a baby and Caine was standing  beside them.  I saw the wedding picture. It wasn’t anything like Cecelia’s. 

Juliana was wearing a simple white dress with an empire waist and flared a-line skirt.  On her feet were a pair or white shoes with a smallest heel I had ever seen.

They were standing side by side holding hands, smiling but I didn’t see a real happiness. It’s like when your mom makes you pose with your dad during your prom. I was relieved but, I wasn’t sure why

“Did she want to do it ?” I asked trying to keep the conversation light

“We would do anything for Caine. So, yes.”

“Hey, how about a tour ?” I asked

Rosa raised her eyebrows at me but, Mrs. Reese agreed.

She showed me her kitchen, a empty room they used as a classroom and lent to others for tutoring, their  2 bathrooms, the master room,  and finally Juliana’s room.

It wasn’t the sweet innocent room I imagined, it  was decorated in a rustic rose-colored country pattern. The book shelf was filled with books,  2 wooden rocking chairs on each side, 2 large windows framed in curtains but had no blinds and a vanity  neatly arranged with  make-up sporting names like Chanel, and Lancome. I saw a key sitting on the desk with a piece of blue ribbon tied around it.

“This is nice,” I said

“You seem very interested in my daughter,” she said

“It’s just I’ve heard so much about her .”

“From who ? she didn’t have any close companions in the area.””

“Oh, um Caine.”

“Oh, well yes he has taken a special interest in her.” She said, ”She is a wonderful girl a bit emotional but I’m sure being out in the real world will help with that.”

“It’s also,  I just come from a place where my mom would never put trust in anyone to make decisions for me.”

“And, where is that ?  You never said.”

“Um, hey so where did you guys get that cake ?” Rosa interjected.

I had forgotten Rosa was there.

“The Hillcrest Bakery. But, really I didn’t dabble in petty things or anything fancy this marriage was really for formal purposes.” Mrs. Reese said, heading out to the porch.

“Where did she register ?” Rosa asked as we followed her out onto the porch

“Well, I didn’t bother with that. I just bought her things that would facilitate the consummation of the marriage you know books and things and everyone else just showed up with gifts. I’m not sure what they were because I told her not to open them as most of them would be useless things, you'll see. Also, I figured they could just open them together once they are settled in his home.”

“What the hell is wrong with you ?” I asked

I had meant to say that in my head but, it was too late

“Not registering—that’s crazy is what she means” Rosa interjected, trying to cover for me.

“No," I said, ,my temper flaring "Why the hell would you as a mother and woman  marry your teenage daughter off just so she could have hook up with some guy you didn’t even know and then for her to get pregnant and all because some guy who has a philosophy tells you it would be a good idea I mean, what the hell ?"

“You have no right to talk to me like that,” she said, “And you should not speak of Caine like that.We helped prepare her as Caine instructed and he knows what best , we have our full trust in him and it might help you to do the same thing."

“Is there a problem ?”

I turned around to see a man standing behind us. He looked like the older version of the man in the family picture.

“Listen, I’m sorry I took that tone with you, Mrs. Reese, I guess I just don’t agree with you about how you treated your daughter like she's a show poodle or something but I, should go.”

“Has Juliana contacted us ?”Mr. Reese asked, “Is she finally pregnant ? Caine would be so happy.”

I couldn’t believe this.

I got up and walked out of the front door. I really wanted to knock something down on my way out.

I heard footsteps behind me and I saw Rosa coming after me, holding a notebook Mrs. Reese had given her.

“I know you are mad with me, that wasn’t very United Light-ish of me.” I said

“No, you aren’t the first person to get upset with the Reeses’ odd devotion to Caine.”

“Really ?”

“There is a reason they keep to themselves.”

"It's just their thinking is so twisted I mean what would you do if your parents did that to you ?"

"I don't know, I'd runaway, " Rosa said," Who am I kidding ? I'd want to make them happy but,  I'd probably act out and be really sour. What would you do ?"

"I'd kick ass and take names."