Mirages

I had read about them in some books ; seeing things that weren't really there.

I was fascinated by the idea of them and now,I was almost afraid I seeing one.

I never fell asleep that night in the car but to my surprise Rhett had drifted off just as the sun was beginning to set in the sky again. I quickly took the keys, my bag and quietly left the car in search of someone or something that could help us.

I had walked nearly an hour on the side of the lone road watching row after row off the bright green grass that was eerily synchronized as it blew side to side in the wind. I stayed alert afraid someone could be hiding in grass ready to jump out at me at any moment to drag me back to the commune.

I told myself I would walk for 2 hours and then if I saw nothing I would turn around and run back as fast as I could. I knew that would take 4 hours and I had to hope Rhett stayed asleep for that long.

It had been about an hour and a half into my walk when I heard the sound of something that wasn't bugs.

A soft rumbling and the squeak of a door.

Man made noise

I looked up to see a lone gas station off the dirt road in the distance.

I sped up my walk into a near run towards the gas station. As I got closer they didn't seem to have any business at the moment but  I hoped there was at least someone inside. Jogging to the door I saw a bored middle aged man sitting behind the counter through the glass door. I didn't know how I was going to explain myself or what I was going to say but, I boldly walked up to the counter.

"Hi," I started.

The man barely looked at me and I nervously crossed my bare arms. I had opted to leave my cardigan with Rhett's blood on it in the truck and I was only wearing a cotton tank top.

" My car broke down a  back in the fields and I really need to get gas"

"I can put it in a plastic tank for you," he said, "How much ?"

I pulled the purse of my shoulder and looked through it. While Caine had given the purse to me as part of my "appearance" I had no idea what was inside of it. I searched through until I saw a leather wallet and only found a credit card issued to Caine.


"I seem to have left my cash in the car," I said as he raised an eyebrow at me, "How about, I leave some of my things here as collateral ? "

" I don't know," he said suspiciously, "Why don't-"

"Here, please look," I said taking off the  wedding ring and watch Caine had given me. I didn't know if they were actually worth much but, they looked it.

The man took the pieces in his hands and let out a sigh.

"You think you can carry a gallon ? ?" he said

"Okay," I agreed

I followed him out the store to the gas pumps where he filled a gallon gas container.

"I'd give you a ride back," he said screwing the cap on "but, I can't leave the--"

"It's fine," I said picking up the gas tank and pretended like it wasn't as heavy as it actually felt.

When I was out of his sight my arms were starting to ache  and , I settled on dragging the gas tank back to the car. In a way I was grateful for the walk back because it gave me time to think about the things in the box my father had given to me and what connections they could have.


I knew nothing in it was to sophisticated; just things that had been my mothers, things she never really used much. They were simple items; her necklace, notepads, pens, nail polish bottle where the only ones that stuck out that I remember her using.

It took me an hour to get  back to the car, I  walked over to the side of the car and located  a hatch where I thought the gas would go. I tried to flip the hatch open with my fingers  to stick the nozzle in but it would not come open. It should have been simple. How many times had I seen people do this ? I attempted to open it a few more times before I had to give up and decided to look for the manual in the passenger side.

I closed the door lounder than I had intended

"You gone somewhere ?," a voice asked.

I turned around to see Rhett waking up in the backseat, seeing that  I had moved from my last position he sat up becoming alert

"I found a gas station," I said " I got gas and I'm trying to figure out how to put it in the car."

I shifted my eyes to the gas container outside. I didn't really want to tell him that we had a way out of here but, at the same time I needed him to know I was capable.

"I got it," he said opening the door.

"I have the keys," I reminded him but he paid no mind to my comment.


While he was outside of the car I  took an inventory of what was inside. I found a pack of cigarettes, a GPS , 2-way Radios and there was 600$ in cash in the glove compartment which I  quickly put into my wallet. I picked Rhett's gun off the floor of the backseat and put it in my purse as well.


"Crank the engine ! " Rhett called to me.

I moved over to the drivers side and  stared once again at the confusing dashboard of lights and dials.

It took me a minute but,I located the ignition and   put the key into it and pressed start. I heard the engine came to life, I looked at the gas tank to see it was only just above empty.

"I have to go back to the gas station to pay for this." I told him as he got into the passenger seat.

"You got money ?" he asked

"Yes,"  I answered confidently as he climbed back into the car.

Gettting a good look at him for the first time that morning I saw the cut above his eye wasn't as deep as I had imagined and it just looked like a superficial scar.

"You going to go ?" He asked watching me.

I wasn't comfortable with driving,  but I couldn't give up any amount control. 

I eased my foot on the gas and  kept going forward not moving the wheel even though the  car insisted on swerving every 3 feet knocking into the fields of grass. It was only a few minutes until I saw the gas station. I stopped a good way from it so I wouldn't have to try parking and went inside to pay. The man at the gas station  eyed the car and then me.

"Nice car." he said

I decided not to respond and simply handed him a roll of bills before turning to walk out

"You forgot your rings," he called after me.

"Actually . . .  they aren't worth anything," I told him and walked out the door.

It was the truth.


I walked back to the car to see Rhett sitting in the drivers side.

I was going to argue but instead got in the passengers side.

He still didn't have keys.

" I been thinking," Rhett said,"You want to help your daddy. Fine. I give you 24 hours you do whatever you want to help him and then no matter what you go back with me and tell Caine what happened and  defend me like hell."

"What if I need more than 24 hours ?" I asked

"Too damn bad," he responded, " I figure if I come back to protected living  with you maybe Caine will be in a less vindictive mood. Can you agree to that ?"

I couldn't

"Okay," I said

I looked down at the clock on the car.

6:18 AM

"So, what was your big plan ?," he asked

I shrugged my shoulders.

I turned into the backseat to get the box of my mothers items and set them on the dashboard.

 I stared hard but there was nothing I could see.

 What was my dad trying to tell me ?


I held the pen in my hand looking over the items grinding the pen in my mouth in frustration, it tasted horrible.

It tasted like nail polish.

Nail polish.

I reached over and opened the nail polish bottle to see it wasn't  clear nail polish as I had thought-- but nail polish remover. I reached for the my cardigan from the backseat and trying to avoid the patches stained with Rhett's blood from the night before and  I poured the remover on it and quickly rubbed it along the pen.

The pen had been polished over.

I looked up to see Rhett looking at me but trying to appear indifferent. The pen still seemed average when I took all of the pale colored nail polish off, except it had an inscription  printed on it it.

The Howel Agency
2342 Main Street Suite 23
Hartford,CT

"This was where my parents worked before they joined United Light," I said "Maybe someone there can help me ?"

I knew I wasn't talking to anyone in particular-- Rhett was looking for me to fail after all.

"Connecticut-- it's like 2 days drive," he said grinning "You want to give up now  ?"

"I want to take a plane," I said taking out the GPS and looking for an airport.

"Plane tickets are like a thousand bucks,"

I had no response to that, suddenly wishing I  had someone supporting me--helping me

"I just want to help my dad, okay ?" I said, "When this is over you can do whatever you want with me, I will tell Caine whatever you want me to  but for now I want to try to help my Dad."

He faced the windshield and rolled his eyes

"Okay, just give me the keys." he said

I was hesitant but, I could see getting to the airport would take better driving than I could do so, I handed him the keys. It was an act of good faith but --I kept my hand around the outline of the concealed weapon in my bag-- I told myself if he started going in any direction besides the airport I'd do whatever I had to do.

After filling the tank with gas Rhett started the car and we followed the GPS silently to the airport. I knew I could not get through the airport with the gun so, I hid it in the car while I was sure Rhett wasn't paying attention.


At the airport, I let Rhett find and pay for parking while I went to a counter and bought our tickets for flight #84  with 500$ in cash.

I waited nervously in the lobby for him to show up.

I knew he would do anything to be in Caine's good graces and I hoped he wasn't trying to communicate with him. I was relived when I saw him walking towards the lobby alone and looking as annoyed as ever.

"The plane leaves in 20 minutes," I told him as I began to speed walk towards the security gate but he kept behind me in a  slow stride.

"Please, hurry," I begged taking his hand pulling him until he was walking at my speed, I could see the plane boarding through the window. As we reached the security checkpoint I pulled off my jewelry and tossed it into the plastic bucket and hurried through the metal detector when I heard a loud alarm go off. I looked up to see the security check point light flashing and I was being pushed back by the TSAs.

Had Caine found me so soon ?

"Try taking off your shoes, ma'am" the security guard advised me. 

I looked down at the plain black flats I had on and doubted they had any metal in them but, keeping a hand on Rhett I took my shoes off and  we walked back through and beeped again. I stared at the guard puzzled.

"Do you have any other metal ?" she asked

"No. Please,  we really need to make this plane--" I begged watching the luggage hatch being closed on the plane.

"Your earrings," Rhett said," You only put one earring in the bin, the other one may have fallen down your shirt."

I had been in such a rush I hadn't even noticed I was missing an earring

"Flight Northeast 33 to Philidelphia Final Boarding call," Blared over the loud speaker.

I shook out my shirt practically taking it off  and  saw the gold hoop earring stuck in my beige bra.

"Sorry," I said giving her the matching earring and I met Rhett who was waiting for me on the other side, with my bag.

"You did that, didn't you ?" I said as I broke into a run to the gate

"You can't prove anything," he laughed

Just as the flight attendant began the safety speech  we made it  into our seat, Rhett taking the window seat.

As she was speaking I couldn't stop thinking about where I stood with Rhett. I did not know how to categorize him, was he a threat or an enemy and what exactly was his deal. United Light doesn't usually just recruit people his age.  I had to get inside of his head but, I didn't know anything about him. Well, I knew one thing.


"Is your dad dead ?" I asked as the flight attendant finished her seat.

"What ?," he said not making eye contact with me

"Your dad is dead isn't he ?" I rephrased

"How did you know ?"

"It's just . . . a few days ago when I-- well, when I saw your room-- I saw that you have a picture of your family in your wallet that is new, but you only have an old picture of him,"

"Aren't you a smart motherfucker."

"You can call me what you want," I told him,"I've been called worse."

"I'm sure," he said

"That's why you took me to see my Dad, you know what it's like to lose a parent."

I was hoping to form some kind of bond with so he would help me but, I was having no luck.

I turned so I was facing the seat in front of me and was ready to continue to the ride in silence.

My silence  was soon interrupted by a rhythmic cracking noise coming my left.

 I turned to see Rhett shifting his hands over top each other every few seconds and cracking his knuckles. He turned his head briefly towards me and our eyes locked. I was fighting my instinct to look away and he was
doing the same because he just stared straight at me before turning back to the window.

 I watched his face in the reflection of the glass as the plane began to pick up speed and ascended into the air. For the first time I noticed his eyes were a bright shade of emerald green, for some reason they seemed larger than usual.

"Are you okay ?" I asked

"Yeah," he spat at me and turned his head to the front so he was staring at the seat in front of him.

"Have you never been on a plane before ?" I asked when we reached a cruising level.

I could see the corners of his lips twitched but he didn't say anything.

I was used to silence



Clutching the map the flight attendant had given me of Hartford I made sure we were the first ones off the plane and headed for the outside of he terminal.

"We can get a taxi cab," I said as I scanned the streets for one.

"It's already past noon now," Rhett informed me with a superior tone in his voice.

"We have plenty of time," I lied to myself still searching the streets. This wasn't exactly Miami traffic.

20 minutes of watching empty streets, I was ready to give up when a white and red cab pulled up beside us and the driver rolled down the window.

Rhett opened the passenger side and got in as I opened the backdoor.

"Where to ?" the driver asked

"Main Street." I said taking a seat and putting my seat belt on, looking out the window I caught a glimpse of  a familiar face.

"Where on Main Street ?" the driver asked in an annoyed tone

"2432" I said as I adjusted my eyes looking for the face again but, the car was already speeding away.



The office complex still had a few businesses running but most   of the office spaces had for rent or for sale signs on them. I paid the driver making a note that I had less then 100$ on me and then headed for the cluster of suites labeled 1-30.


"My dad told me it was a pretty big company," I said approaching the doors ,"Lots of people worked for it. Maybe someone there remembers him"

There was no sign on suite 23 but the door was open. Feeling hopeful I opened the door to find a deserted reception area with 5 doors along the the far wall. I knocked on every door only to hear nothing in response.

"You are running out of time," Rhett grinned," And you're at a dead end."

He was enjoying my frustration too much

"I'm just missing something, I must be."

I could feel tears of frustration coming on, I didn't want to cry in front of Rhett and tried to hold back but it was too late. I felt a tear rolling down my cheek and wiped it quickly with the back of my hand only to see the mark Caine had branded on me.

How could one man cause so much trouble ?

I could hear the sounds of Rhett laughing at me.

"Leave me alone," I said

"Trust me this ain't the first time I've laughed at you're stupidity. We got to go back" he said walking towards me, taking my arm. I yanked my arm hard out of his grasp and he lost his balance tripped and fell.  I heard a surprising  loud thud as he made contact with the floor. I almost apologized thinking he hit his head  when I saw the head of his weapon in his pocket.  I quickly reached for it and took it in my hand.

"How did you get this past security ?" I asked

"Diversions," he said and reached to snatch it from me but, I  threw it to the ground and let it  slide to the far end of the office. I ran after it to get to it before he did but, the next thing I knew I felt his weight on me and I fell to the ground as he attempted to pin me to the ground with his legs and reach for the gun with his hands. I let my nails dig in to the wound on his eye  he quickly tried pin my arms behind me but I was already fighting him, kicking with my legs until I made contact with his crotch. While he was still in shock I turned to retrieve the gun only to see it was gone.

And replaced by a pair of shoes.

I looked up the legs in the shoes to see  a man's face.

A face I knew from the commune

Greg Hill. He was holding the gun at an unthreatning angle.

"It's okay, Juliana" he said taking my hand helping me up, keeping a sharp eye on Rhett who was standing up but at the moment didn't look like much of a threat.

"What are you doing here ?" Greg said, his face was hard

"I-- my dad told me." I explained taking the simpler explanation

His expression changed to a softer one.

"And him ?" Greg asked nodding his head toward Rhett.

"He's no harm," I said. Which was true. Rhett was nothing without Caine and without his weapon.

"I'm so glad to see you," he said and I saw genuine relief in his eyes, he looked like he wanted to hug me, "Is Daniel okay ?"

"My mom she's, well she--passed away and now my dad he wants to leave."

"I am so sorry but--Of course he wants to leave."

"Since When ? What is going on ?" I asked

"It's a long story," Greg said, "We should leave here though,"

Rhett and I followed Greg silently out the door and to a black pick up truck outside. He drove 2 blocks down the street to tiny apartment complex that was still in eye distance of the office building.

The apartment he led us to was pretty much unfurnished but, there were a group of lawn chairs set up and we sat down.

Greg went over to a cooler in the corner and gave us two bottles of water. We hadn't eaten or drank in nearly 24 hours and I was grateful for the water.

"I was happy with United Light and things were great; I got a promotion and I was going to work closely with Caine," Greg started "but then when you and Sawyer took Elisa back Caine told me I would have to start spying on you and I did . . .  but I was unsure. I remembered the condition you were in when you met us in the park  and no one really explained it to me. And then more people left the commune  and the more unanswered questions I had the more I was seeing the person Caine was. I wanted to leave the protected living but Ceclia and Sam weren't having it and I couldn't just leave without them. Then Caine told me I had to kill you and you were a threat. Thats when I knew Caine had lost it and I knew I had to go  AWOL so to speak. I tried to tell your parents Caine wanted you dead, your mother wasn't having it --but, that night your dad came to my house and  helped me escape. Apparently your dad had been talking with a group of people about leaving since the new commune rules went into affect. I mean he wasn't as radical about it as some of the  . . . others."

"Like Logan ?" I ventured

"Yeah, like Logan." Greg agreed, "God only knows what would happen if Caine found out the things Logan was up to."

I remained silent on the topic.

"Why did my dad tell you to come here of all places ?" I asked

"He told me that he still owned this place and the place where he had his office and he was sure they were still vacant. He gave me the key, his old checking account information and  I've kind of been just watching. He told me if he helped anyone else leave he'd direct them here I was kind of hoping I'd see your dad or anyone else who got out."

"It's strange . .  . I had no idea my dad wanted to leave," I wondered out loud

"He wanted to leave for a while but, your mother well, I'm sure you know.  All I know is there are a lot of people who regret letting United Light take over their life and want to leave and I just want to help them."

"I want to help you,"I said

"Are you serious ?" Rhett shouted at me "These defectors tried to kill you."

"Yes, there are a few people who left that are about killing Caine and causing terror within United Light but that isn't me," Greg said.

I suddenly couldn't blame them for trying to kill me.They thought by hurting me they would hurt Caiine.

"How can I help my dad ?" I asked, "We have to get him out now, Caine can be really unpredictable."

"It's tricky now that Caine knows I went AWOL." Greg said  " See you have to get past the TLs to get close to the commune we don't have anybody on the inside anymore. Caine had most of the former TLs retire and recruited a bunch of new young kids who listen to him like trained dogs."

"You really want to start something ?" Rhett said taking a long drink of water

"It's true," Greg said

"I will follow anyone who I know is right, you don't know anything about Caine."

"No," Greg said, "You don't know anything about Caine. What can you say about a man who will destroy anything and anyone that gets in his way or disagrees with him ?"

"I say he is smart," Rhett replied.

"What about my dad ?" I interjected

"You're dad's an idiot." Rhett said.

"No, Rhett you're the idiot," I told him," Do you know why Caine made the commune smaller ? Why he is always going on trips ? Why he is trying to keep everyone silent ? It' because United Light has no money and Caine is struggling to try and not let it fall from underneath him. I mean what do you think Caine is going to do when he has to pay you ? He won't give you anything,  because you know you are just a  diposable number to him."

"You think I'm going to believe that ?" Rhett responded.

"It's the truth, I can't make you believe it,"

I could see Rhett processing something but, I knew there was nothing I could do to make him believe me.

"How are we going to help my dad ?" I asked turning back to Greg.

"Don't worry," Greg said, "We will get your dad out together,"

"How ?" I asked," I can't really go back and if I do Rhett will most likely turn me in. He only gave me 24 hours"

"That won't be an issue," Greg said nodding in the direction of Rhett.

I turned to see Rhett slumped against the chair the bottle of water on the ground pooling around his feet.

"Is he--"

"No,I just  gave him a taste of his own medicine. He's just knocked out. We'll just have to keep him tied up to something until we get things figured out,"

I didn't like the idea of that, it sounded to much like something Caine would do but, I couldn't see any other option.

"Listen Juliana, I need to get in contact with some people who may still be on the inside so it may take a few days. Your dad has a cell that I call him but there is not a lot of reception on the commune, so I will contact him telling you are with me, he can tell me the climate of the commune and if we have any new allies."

"I wish he could just leave. He should be able to just walk out if he wants to," I reasoned

"I know," Greg said


In most books that I had read actions always happened so quickly, Cinderella lost the slipper and then the next day she was married. She never had to wait for her ending.

I had to wait.

For 2 days, I did nothing but sleep or talk to Greg. I hadn't even bothered to go out and look for new clothes. Greg and I  sat by the window in the apartment watching Suite 23 waiting to see if anyone entered  it. Mostly he asked me questions about the commune, Caine and what I had experience  and made notes, he wanted to know everything about the protected living and how it was run and I helped as much as I could. I suddenly wished I paid more attention in Caine's numerous meetings but I had been drugged most of my stay.  Hartford seemed to be a small quaint city but with my father on my mind I had no desire to explore it.

Rhett had woken up the day after he had been drugged to find himself tied up in one of the chairs. For the first hours he shouted slurred obscene threats at Greg and I before being knocked out again.

 I knew he was awake at the current moment but he had decided to remain silent.

Greg checked his cell phone every 5 minutes  hoping for some communication from my dad or any other former-UL. I wondered how long this could go on when suddenly we saw the figure of a  man  cautiously enter suite 23.

"Did you see that ?" I asked  making sure I wasn't seeing things

"Yeah but, I can't say I recognized him," Greg said standing up and taking the gun he had confiscated from Rhett.

"Should I come ?" I asked

"No," he told me," I'll be fine. After all we don't know who it is. You stay here I will bring them back here"

Greg hid the weapon underneath his coat and headed for the building

It was the first time I had been alone with Rhett since coming here.

"If you go anywhere near the protected living Caine is going to have you and your father killed and I can't say he would be wrong," Rhett said

"Why is it you believe in Caine so much ?," I asked not bothering to turn  to face him,"What did he ever do for you ?"

"He saved me," Rhett said, " Saved me from living a dead end life."

"What do you mean ?" I ventured

 "I'm from a town where everybody is the same and I mean everyone," Rhett said " Everyone is broke, everyone is afraid there going to hell, everyone is born there and everyone dies there. Nobody ever leaves and if they do, like my dad they come back in a pine box and that scares everybody into staying even more. I was ready to get my dead end job at some used car lot when I heard Caine speak in town and  he was different.  He made me question everything I knew and that was good. I had never even left the state before I met him. He saved me and he saved you too "

"Caine never saved me I-"

"You where awhore before he came for you--"

"You're wrong," I told him, "You don't know anything about that,"

 I knew whatever I had done whatever choices I made I couldn't really blame it all on Caine but, I was not reliving the story for Rhett.

"I know what I saw in those images,"

"Caine extorted half a million dollars from me," I said "I did anything for that money, even things I'm not proud off. That's why Caine is so threatned by me. Think about it."

As I watched Rhett I could see somethings were falling into place for him.

Our silence was broken by a soft bleep.

I looked at the chair next to me to see Greg had left his phone and it had a new text message.

 8/5 ASHCROFTS

UPDATE : T21, C.C&S, DF&RC

EOM



"What is it ?" Rhett asked

I ignored him and stared at the message trying to decode it.

Who or where was Ashcrofts and was my father there ? Was this even from my father

Where the letters some kind of code ?

I looked hard at the screen until I heard the door open and Greg walked in followed by two men I didn't recognize and two people I did-- Cecelia and Sam.

Cece

I looked back at the text message.

CC&S was Cecelia and Sam.

I studied the other mens faces before finding names

Dillon Firth and Raleigh Connolly.

"This came," I said giving the phone to Greg who had his arm tightly around Cecelia.

"This is from Daniel," Greg announced," He was telling me you were coming as well as that we have a Tranquility Light on our side."

"Why didn't he come too ? " I asked

"The EOM it means eyes on me, he is being watched," Greg explained

"What is Ashcrofts ?" I asked

"Of course," he said a smile coming across his face, "It's a fundraiser for local Southern politicians held each year at the Ashcroft theater, Caine always goes because of the all the old money there. It's perfect. Caine   take his young TL's to showcases some of his good work and Reiter will most likely go as well. That means we may have a good chance of getting in."

"Does 08/3 mean August 3rd because, that's tomorrow," I said

"Greg what is going on ?" Cecelia said. For the first time I noticed she looked scared and disheveled and she was trying hard not to look at the tied up Rhett.

"It's Daniel Reese, we want to get him out of the commune,"

"Greg this is all absolutely crazy, we need to go back. What is going on with you ? Why am I here ? " Cecelia asked, she looked on the verge of tears and Sam let his hand rest on her head, a look of guilt on his face.

"It's complicated," He told her letting his lips momentarily rest on her forehead "Juliana why don't you take  Cecelia to the back room, I'm sure she needs to rest."

I wondered if his comment was patronizing to her but she looked tired and was holding her hand over the small bulge in her stomach. I was sure she was going to protest but she followed quietly as I lead her to the back room and she took a seat on the bed taking a deep breath.

Cecelia and I had been practically neighbors on the commune but she was  7 years older than me and we had never talked. I remembered when I was 10 she started babysitting our neighbors children and teaching them music; when I asked my mother if she would ever let Cecelia babysit me my mother informed me there was no need because they never went anywhere without me. When I got older I admired her,--the way she made such beautiful music  and had a constant smile on her face but, her relationship with Greg but-- my mother always told me I should never want to be like "that Winston girl' and how I was so much better (or enlightened as she put it) than her.

Even know I was never really sure what she meant, I assumed that meant Cecelia was doing something bad but she seemed more than nice. I think it was the fact that Caine spent just as much time (if not more) with her family.

Sitting on the bed Cecelia's usual radiant smile was gone and she just looked confused as she pulled her wispy blonde hair out of it's ponytail and then gathered it back up.

"How did you get out ?" I asked

She seemed repulsed by the phrase get out but let her expression soften.

"This morning Sam told me he got some kind of special clearance to leave so we could see a doctor in town,"  she said as she pulled the ends sloppy ponytail secure, "Minutes later this car pulls up with the Dillon and Raleigh and Sam is begging mom to come but she doesn't see a reason. He was practically yelling at her.  I get  into the car  and they are just driving straight out of the commune doors really fast. I know we aren't headed for town and Sam said everything was fine but he won't  explain anything until . . .  well, until I'm on a train. He tells me we had to defect-- for the baby. I mean I know there are some . . . I mean I had my suspicions--I just can't believe it,"

"You can believe it," I said taking my hand in hers and showing her the brand, "Look what he did to me,"

Cecelia pushed my hand away in a surprisingly passive aggressive act.

"I said I can't believe it," she repeated and then in a softer tone,"That doesn't mean it isn't true . . . I'm not exactly dense . . .I was seeing the signs, all the new rules and security,  I just don't want to believe the only life I ever knew was-- some kind of lie. It hurts to know I can't go back to it."

"There are people outside the commune who are just like the people in United Light," I told her.

"Really ?" she scoffed, skeptically

I nodded even though I couldn't think of one person.

We sat in silence until I heard some loud noises and arguing. I left Cecelia and walked  to the living room to find Greg holding back Raleigh from Rhett whose cheek was flushed.

Raleigh relaxed his stance and turned to Greg.

"Have you lost your mind ?" Raleigh said to Greg, "If you keep that kid here, Caine could find us and kill us all, you know that is what he wants.  He could get word back and something could happen to our families."

"What happened ?" I asked

"They didn't believe Caine could be unforgiving," Rhett said with an almost apologetic look on his face, "I was telling him about Lo-"

"You have no right to speak my cousins name," Raleigh interrupted

"I know you are angry," Greg said,"But anger won't solve anything for us,"

"Yeah, well what will ?" Raleigh asked

I stared in silence, this  situation  could  not be fixed and it seemed it wasn't going to get better. I could go back--I should go back, that would easier, if we all just went back this was just not the kind of problem you could  solve with---

"I'm sorry, man,"

If it wasn't for the distinct way every vowel was slightly exaggerated I would have thought it was someone else speaking.

"I didn't know he was your brother," Rhett said, "Listen I know y'all are thinking I'm the enemy or whatever. But I been thinking-- I'm dead to Caine  and if what Juliana says about United Light being broke is true-- and I think it is well maybe I have switched loyalties. Look, I got more pull than any TL, I have been inside Caine's head I know more than you will ever . .  let me help."

There was a silence in the room.

"What have we got to lose ?" Greg said

"My dad," I reminded him

"No !," Raleigh said, "He killed my--"

"Hey, I ain't kill nobody--" Rhett said

"Well, you didn't stop them," Raleigh argued

"Neither did she," he said gesturing to me.

"Look-- I know this is hard but, Raleigh he is right. He can be a huge asset. We have to still trust each other," Greg said

Raleigh slowly walked over to Rhett and undid the knots on his hands.

" Greg has you gun, boy" he said," Don't think for a minute there isn't anyone here who won't kill you given the chance."

He undid the ropes and we walked into the bedroom where Cecelia was and put together a plan for how to get my father out.

The plan would not have been possible and it was risky, crude and left a lot of loose ends. If it worked it would not only get my dad and everyone else's family out but, expose and bring Caine down in the process.

The only thing it guaranteed was that all of us might die in the process.



Despite the fact she was wearing her clothes one size bigger, Cecelia's blouse still fit fairly close to my body as I buttoned myself into it. Putting on the cardigan she had somehow managed to get the blood stain out of  I tip toed over the sleeping bodies in the living room and out the front door. I stood outside the door breathing in the the cool pre-morning air. I turned around to make sure no one was following me and saw a face staring back at me, I let out a yelp but covered my mouth to muffle it.

"What the hell are you doing ? " Rhett asked

"It's just this plan seems great but, it's dangerous and if s were to happen to me . . .   I just want to set a few things straight with someone."

"Jesus Christ," he said rolling his eyes

I shook my head and kept walking and he followed expertly behind me.

"Where are you going ?" he asked

"To the university," I said still keeping my pace "I saw it on my map--and I just have to see if I can find someone I will be back before we are ready to leave,"

"It's more than a few blocks," he said

I didn't trust him

"Trust me," he said and I heard a jingling noise. I turned to see him holding up Greg's car keys

Against my better judgment I turned around and followed him to the car.


Rhett was wearing  a ribbed white undershirt and I watched his slightly muscular bare arm as he moved the steering wheel , I couldn't help but to glance at the delta mark on his bicep.  No matter if we both left UL and never came back we would always be reminded. I erased that thought from my mind and concentrated on the now. It was easier

I was surprised to feel a renewed sense of confidence when we got to the gates of the Belford University. After a quick survey of the map I found the Greek Row and saw the brick mansion I had seen in so many photos with the giant Sigma Kapppa Alpha out front. As I got closer I was overwhelmed by the size of the mansion, how perfect the grass looked, it was so picturesque; I was impressed.

 I turned to see Rhett pretending to look indifferent.

"Someone I knew lives here," I explained still standing on the sidewalk at the tip  of the massive lawn.

"This is dumb." he said, "Don't be impressed by this college shit.  People who go to college are just douchebags,"

"My parents went to college," I informed him.

I considered going to the front door but, I needed a few minutes to think first. Unfortunately the universe didn't want to wait for me because  the door opened and a group of men came out heading in the opposite direction of where I was standing.

and I saw him. He looked just as he had at the airport

He seemed so normal among the group, this was where he belonged. He took a quick glance in my direction and stopped mid stride. He broke away from the group and half walked half jogged over to me as if I was going to disappear if he didn't come fast enough. When he was finally close enough to me he enveloped me in a hug, he smelled of sweetness and pine needles; it was so familiar.

"Holy shit ," he said looking ay big smile across his face, showing the gap between his teeth. "I didn't think I'd see you again. You look really good"

"Thanks," I said taking his hands in mine, "I wanted to say I'm sorry --"

"No. Listen, I'm sorry and I mean it," he said moving his hands so they were over mine, " I was looking back and I was really shitty to you, I just got to wrapped up in having fun and I regret everything I ever said to you. I tried to call you but, you never answered. I even went to Sawyer's apartment and he told me you were back at the um, well you know the  place with your parents and I should forget about you because you weren't coming back,  I didn't believe him but out lease was  up and  --"

"It's okay," I said. I hadn't had time to think about Sawyer and how he probably still thought I was dead. There would be time for that. "I did go back and it's fine, I just can't believe I reacted like that . . .  smashing all those bottles,"

He laughed and I couldn't help but to smile too.

"It was the best thing you ever did," he grinned and  little lines around his eyes. Something about his smile made me laugh and he laughed with me.

 " Hey look, I don't have classes yet,  do you want to walk with me ? I can show you around," he offered.

"No," I said, "I have to go and all this is just a better good bye,"

"Oh, are you with him ?" he said gesturing towards the sulking Rhett.

"No, never," I said

"So, there is no chance of us ?" he asked

 "I don't know--It's just  I've learned what happens when people make their happiness and existence so dependent on another person even when that person is wrong or not good to them. They blind themselves from the truth--my mother was like that and I can't really be like her. Anyway, I'm glad I learned that with you. Um, anyway I really have to go now."

"Wait," he said

He pulled a notepad from his book bag and wrote down a number.

" I don't know if you guys have phones at the place where you live but, uh if you ever come back this way--call me. I do miss you," he said handing me the paper.

I took it and put it in my pocket.

"Good bye, Cortland."

He bowed his head down and kissed me innocently on the side of my cheek , he wrapped one arm around me in a half hug-- after a few seconds I had to pull away and waved to him.

"Bye," I repeated

"No--Until later," he said turning and heading in the opposite direction.

I walked back towards Rhett and we walked back to the car together.

He said until later but for me it was good bye.