It was something I had never witnessed before.

My mother-- crying.

Well, not real crying it was just a small tear that was sliding down her smiling cheek as she stood next to my father who appeared to be in a state of excitement and confusion.

Caine seemed to take an exceptional amount of pleasure in their new happy attitudes.

I couldn’t believe my parents were acting like they were okay with this, I wanted to get up and try and reason with them but, the minute I tried to move my legs they felt heavy. Whatever drug the TL had given me had not completely left my body.

I was feeling lethargic, my body was begging for sleep and  but, I kept myself awake and    listened as my parents began to tell Caine they were honored and felt more devoted to him than ever.

A few months ago I would have sat quietly and taken solace in my parents being happy for me . I would have just learned to deal with the new situation but, I was feeling different know.  I knew there were a few issues that I would not let them ignore.

“He is to old –“

“Juliana, please no one asked you to speak,” my father said, “You have caused enough trouble you should be happy and proud.”

“No,” I said, “I won’t do it.”

“She will come around,” Caine smiled.

Something about the smile was unsettling.

“When will the date be ?,” My mother asked “ I can’t imagine going through the whole wedding planning ordeal again. But this time I’m sure it will work out.”

“I think Juliana will come and stay with me for now,” Caine told them, they nodded along in agreement “Within time there will be a private ceremony just the two of you will be invited and when the time comes we will tell everyone. I don’t think we should make you go through the big ceremony again.”

“I agree, just what I was thinking,” my mother agreed quickly, “This all sounds so wonderful I suppose we are related now,”

“Mother, please” I begged "Don't make me do this"

She looked as if she had not heard me.

“Let’s give her time to rest,” Caine said leading them out of the room, "I feel terrible about the whole misunderstanding. That nasty cocktail we had to give her can have a pretty long affect,”

As soon as my parents were out of the door Caine made eye contact with one of the Tranquility Lights standing with him and then looked over to me for a brief second.

 The tranquility light stayed behind as Caine walked out of the room to talk more with my parents, I stared at the rifle strapped across his chest , helplessly as he came over to me and  put another plastic cuff on me. As he got closer to me I sensed he was carrying more weapons than I could see. I didn't recognize him as someone I had seen on the commune and in place of where there would have been a name tag there was the number 153.  As soon as I was secured to the bed again he stood in the corner of my bedroom watching me.

Ignoring the TL I surveyed my room trying find the best way to escape from the bedroom and runaway.

I was escaping  the one place I thought I felt comforted the most.

The lethargy started again and I lied down on the bed, trying to make sense of what was happening.

As soon as my head hit the bed  I found myself drifting into a  sleep so pleasant  that I almost forgot to fight it. My brain began to feel fuzzy and I was in-between being awake and a sleep.Everything seemed to be swapping colors, I was seeing flashes of light and  red stains on my clothes.

I did not know how much time passed but for a while everything  slowed down and I was in a  mix of a dreamlike state and reality, time had no constant. I wasn't sure if 5 minutes or a year had passed.

  The figures of my parents and Caine entered the room approaching me.  I felt like I wasn’t in control of my body, as my father sat beside me and hugged and kissed me, something he never did. Not even at the first marriage.

It was strange having Caine touch me,  supporting my shoulders  he was holding me up tightly as I was walked out with the guidance of the other TLs to the tinted Lexus but, I couldn’t feel my feet on the ground. I felt like I was back wading in the water at the beach , something was pushing me forward but I wasn't controlling it.

When I was in the car, Caine and the TL sat on either side of me, Caine kept his hand firmly on my shoulder as  if he was afraid I was going to try to escape.

 I watched the houses move by in a hazy blur as we drove the 2 blocks to Caine’s house on the hill.

 Even though the house I grew up in was was so close, I knew I had never been farther away.

The car pulled up, through the gate into the front and we were let out beside the large front door, I was walked into the house in the same way I had been walked out of my home. I was surprised how much the same Caine’s house looked despite the changes on the commune. I was led into through the lavishly decorated living room , down a hallway and into a small room that looked like an office. It was covered in bookshelves that were piled with books  and in the center was a single desk with a chair on either side.

I was directed to sit in  one of the chairs. Caine sat across from me and began to type on the computer when,  an unfamliar TL  came in and gave him a sheet of paper and walked out.

Caine looked at the paper and then looked at me.

“I trust you not to leave.” He said walking out locking the 3 locks to the the door behind him. 

I glimpsed out the window to see a TL walking back and forth on the other side.

----Sawyer----

I expected complaints or even comments but, we were too busy thinking about  Juliana as Rosa’s floor was littered with paper, dirt and garbage.

Somewhere along the line Julie had gotten smart.

“I found it !” Rosa said, holding up a syringe and then looked crestfallen, “But, it’s empty.”

My first instinct when I heard Juliana shouting was to go and see what was wrong but, after making sense of what she was shouting I realized she was taking one for the team. We all couldn’t be taken in by Caine after all. We watched from Elisa’s window as the unconscious Juliana was carried out of the community center and into the black car. It didn’t take us long to come up with a way to get to her without causing suspicion.

I would masquerade as one of the TLs and get close to her.

The execution was the hard part.

Rosa knew enough about the shift changes the TLs  had and how they traveled, but that was as far as we had gotten.

“How can he take one down ?” Elisa had asked

“Use their own weapon against them,” I said,” We tranquilize one of them.

“Oh, I’m sorry I left my tranquilizer in my other purse,” Elisa said “ Do you have a tranquilizer ?”

That question is what got us rooting in the trash cans looking for the tranquilizer they had attempted to put into Juliana but failed.

“Well, we’re screwed,” said Elisa, “Now what ? All we have is a empty syringe,”

“We can still take one of them down,” I said my mind already spinning.

“How ? We don’t have the actual tranquilizer,”

“No, we don’t,” I told her,” but I can make one.”             

They looked at me in disbelief. I could explain the thought process behind it but, we didn’t have time for that,

 “All I need is some kind of sleeping pill  or something, some water from the sink, a perfume and the syringe and then a  flame, it won’t be fancy but I bet I can make a damn good tranquilizer,”

“And I thought you’d never use your degree.” Elisa said.” How are we going to find this stuff ?”

 “This is so embarrassing," Rosa said opening up her purse, "but, I have some Valium I was taking during wedding planning,”

I was sure the  word wedding was still tough for her but, she didn’t let it show for more than a minute.

Rosa also had a perfume she was ready to part with and Elisa was still carrying her lighter from when she used to smoke.

This was easier than I thought. . .  . if it worked.

I  heated up a little bit of  water from the bathroom  twice before mixing it with the Valium, then using a metal spoon Rosa had from breakfast,  I heated up the perfume and held another spoon over top to capture the steam.

“You see, water has a boiling point of 100 degrees but—“ I began

“No one cares, what’s the point what are you doing ?” Elisa asked

Elisa never had much patience for things that didn’t involve her.

“I’m taking the ethanol--pure alcohol out of this perfume.”

I  worked for an hour with Elisa and Rosa watching over my shoulder collecting water vapor until there was almost tablespoon of pure ethanol.

I mixed the ethanol with water/valium mixture and put it into the syringe.

“The ethanol is like an anesthetic and the valium is a muscle relaxant.”

“You really think you can take down someone with a gun with that ?” Rosa asked

“I’ll try for his arms but, it’s all we have.”

"We should go," Rosa said,"Shift change is about to begin."

We had to waited hour before Rosa took us near the entrance of the commune. We found a secluded spot by some trees and watched the TLs. They were all standing in straight line looking over the commune like statues.

“They should be changing soon,” she kept saying.

They all stood unmoved by the entrance until something finally did change. The guards currently at the gate relaxed their postures as they saw 12 more TL’s coming to take their places. As soon as the positions were reversed some of the TL’s whose shift had ended began walking off---separate from the group.

“See him,” Rosa said pointing to a TL who was walking towards our spot in the trees, ”He’s only 17 and he is the newest recruit as far as I can tell.”

Rosa walked out of the trees and talked to the boy pointing to the trees. They approached closer to where Elisa and I were hiding.

“It was right over here , I can’t believe I lost it, I need it to get home,” she said leading him closer to us.

As soon as he had his back to me I walked quietly out and seeing where his skin was showing I stabbed the syringe into his arm, he quickly reached for his weapon but the drug acted fast and his arm was useless. He was so pre-occupied with his new condition that when he finally decided to use his other arm, the drug had overpowered him and he fell to the ground with a loud crack.

“Oh God! Is he alive?” Rosa asked

Elisa held her compact to his mouth and fog appeared on the mirror.

“He is still breathing, lets go before he wakes up.”

I quickly changed into the  TL’s  clothing  and then with Elisa and Rosa walking in front of me we headed for Caine’s house.

If anyone questioned us I could say I was escorting them. This was almost over.

 “34! 34! Hey !”

I turned to see a TL running towards me repeating the number like it was my—

I looked down to see a patch on my arm; there was a 34 on it. He didn’t seem to not recognize me,  it appeared he didn’t know this “34’s” face.

“They need you at the main house. I can  take over here. Where are you taking these ladies ?” He said, I looked at his uniform to see no name but a number 78.

“They are—“

“We are new and got a little lost.” Elisa explained, it worried me how  well she could lie.

78 gave Elisa a kind look but stared at me hard.

“Where is your radio ?” 78 asked, “You should have gotten the call.”

The plan fell apart too quickly.

There came a squawking from the bushes and the TL went to see his young colleague unconscious on the floor.

We did the only thing we could do.

Run.

The only option for us was to head even deeper into the commune, where there wasn’t a line of TL’s waiting.  We ran not knowing where we were going, I looked behind me to I see 78 drawing his gun.

“Holy shit ! Those are bolt action hunting rifles,” Elisa said

“What  does that mean ?" Rosa said, out of breath but still keeping up.

“Let’s just say, they are extremely accurate,”

 I expected to hear gunshots but, I looked back again to see the 78 clumsily holding the weapon. He  was not trained well and he was hesitant with shooting the weapon.

“Woods up ahead,” Rosa said pointing to a patch of dense woodland  across the street.

We headed for it even faster when a car pulled in front of us out of nowhere. I grabbed Elisa’s arm and pulled her back as the car came within an inch of her. I turned to go the other way to see the three of us were surrounded by cars.

A man walk out of the biggest SUV and came towards us.

“He was with Caine in the diner, when he attacked Juliana.” Elisa whispered

I recognized him as Garrett Reiter judging by his car and the way the other TL’s looked at him with fear in their eyes, he seemed to have a position of power.

“The things we do to keep peace,” he said taking a shot gun out of his belt and loading it in front of us .

We were down.

 I held on to Elisa tightly, is this how it ended ?

He shot one round off and I heard a scream of agony. I looked to see Elisa and Rosa both seemed unhurt, turning around I saw 78 on the ground, withering in pain holding his knee where a pool of blood was forming.

“That is for incompetence” Reiter said, “Again, and you will be killed.”

Reiter turned his attention to us

“Caine left it to my discretion whether or not to kill you all. However he does want to tell you when he says you are not welcome here he means it.  As for you Ms.Erickson you should watch the company you keep. You may  either stay here and accept what comes to you or go but, if you go you can never return.”

Reiter went over to the car he had just gotten out of and opened the door.

“If you wish to spare your life, you will get in and never comeback. You will be dropped off on the outskirts.”

With Elisa still clutching my hand we headed for the car. We would be no help to Juliana if we were dead.

Halfway to the car  Elisa stopped walking and I turned to see her watching Rosa , who hadn't moved and  was  looking towards the car.

I was sure Rosa was torn, she had family and friends here. I was surprised Elisa offered no opinion for Rosa but just watched silently.

Rosa finally started walking towards us. Towards the car, away from the commune.

 “Where is Juliana ?” I asked once we were all in the car, “Is she coming back with us ?”

Reiter turned to me and laughed.

“She has made her choice. Have you not heard the news ?”

What he told us shook me harder than it should have.

Did this mean it was over ?

---Juliana--

I sat in the office for what seemed like forever but according to the clock it was only 2 hours when  Caine walked back in to the room and took the seat across from me.

“You need to know I will not take insubordinate behavior from you. I do not need that-

‘I-“

“No. You say nothing now, sweetheart. I will tell you this though;  your family has held a special place in my heart, and as this lifestyle grew so did the commitment.  I do believe in any means necessary.”

“I don’t want to marry you,” I said

“It is your own fault,” he said as he turned on the computer and began to type on it. “ What part of not allowed back on the commune did you not understand ?   I cannot let people like your parents loose even an ounce of faith in me. People like them are the keystone to United Light. This is not about marriage, this is about appearances. You will be whatever I tell you to be and your worth as a person is not currently on the table. But, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”

 

“You are treating me like a slave,” I argued

“Well,” he said turning his computer screen towards me.

 I saw the last few months of my life in images before me. Images I had no idea existed anywhere else but in my mind and even then I had never seen them from this angle.

“Your friends, Brad is very upset.  Like a miracle though,  he has gotten in contact with an insurance agent who has been able to refund him all of his money. However, if you try anything smart . . . well, that could all change and he would be looking for you once again.”

I couldn’t recognize the girl I was when Sawyer was in jail. I saw an image on the screen with Brad and I, I couldn’t look at the screen anymore.

“Look,” he told me.

I looked up to see the images were different, now it was just a singular image of the house at Blue Orchid with Cortland and his roommates sitting our front, smiling for the camera.

 

”I am glad in a way you left the commune because you seemed to have built up relationships and feelings. Feelings that will keep you down,” Caine said

“ So,  you be a good girl or else this one”  Caine pointed to Cortland ”Will have a fatal car accident or better yet just disappear. And you should know I do not bluff.”

I couldn’t let anything happen to Cortland. I was almost positive Caine could not read my mind so I agreed, even though I would be looking for my way out.

“This business does not leave this office,” he said

I nodded.

 

He stood up and took my hand and walking a few paces in front of me he lead me to the office  door as soon as we were in the living room I saw , following behind us  were  the same 2 TLs.

TL153 and TL152

“In time you will learn everything about UL and the protective living facility. All our secrets” He explained as he  led me up the stairs.

I felt fear as he walked down the hallway open bedrooms

Please, No.

I couldn’t be with Caine.

He opened the door to a large room with a king sized wrought iron bed with a  simple blue spread and quilt on it. The  only other pieces of furniture in the room were a   simple desk and dresser that I am sure were very expensive despite their simplicity.

In the corner of the room I could see a door that led to a  full bathroom, just as simple as the bedroom.

“This your room,” Caine said.

“Will you make me—“

“I am a leader and more enlightened than any man you will ever meet, I do not give into such carnal pleasures,” he said in disgust, “I have bigger plans for you. There will be a guard with you at all times. you will begin your duties in the morning.”

He pushed me into the room and walked off,  I saw their was  TL135 was standing by the closed door.

Ignoring him, I  opened  the closet to see  hangers full of  dresses, skirt and pants-- they were nice clothes not jeans or t-shirts but, khaki’s, blouses and dress pants everything at a conservative length and neckline. I looked for tags but ,there were none. Someone had made these.

Eyeing the TL135 I walked by the window pretending like I was just looking at the view but I wanted to see different ways to get out. The window had a padlock on it and looked as though it had been sealed shut, looking down  I could see it would be a long fall.

After facing the fact that there was no way I could escape by the window without breaking it I sat on the bed  and tried not to think about how crazy a hand life had dealt at me.

20.2

***

Even though I had fallen asleep, I was alert when I heard a knock at the door. The room was dark and one glance at the window I could see the sun was just about to rise.

I looked in the corner to see the room was empty.

I got out of the bed and headed for the door when TL153 entered the room followed by two women who looked to be in my mother’s generation of United Light. Women who had once had lives but dropped everything they knew to follow Caine.

 TL153 walked up to me and taking me arm bent me over the bed and stuck a needle in my leg and then stepped back  eyeballing me,as the two women  led me to the bathroom /vanity where I was given what I can only describe as a make over.

My hair was dyed back into a deeper blonde, and it was pulled, straightened sprayed and  put into the  a ponytail so tight  my head  was hurt. My skin was rubbed with harsh creams and then lemons.

They had also left out a sweater set and long pants I had never been so covered up in my life. The outfit seemed impractical in the nearly 90 degree weather but, I just put it on. It wasn’t until I was getting dressed did I realize the affect the lemons had on my skin was no longer sunkissed by the Miami sun but it was lighter, by the tiniest shade. 

I was taken by the TL back downstairs and into the dining room where a bowl of cold cereal was waiting. I hadn’t eaten in nearly 2 days and as much as I didn’t want anything from Caine, I was hungry so, I sat and ate the cereal. There was nothing to look at in the empty room and I began to feel awkward with  the TL always there.

Watching me.

I saw Caine come from down the stairs fully dressed in his usual suit, it was like he was in an office instead of his own home.  He took the seat across from me and motioned for the TLs to leave.

“You may ask one question,” he said

I had a million questions

“Where is Sawyer and Elisa ?” I asked, the first words I spoke that morning.

“I had my second in command Garrett Reiter  tell them to leave and explain the situation. If they are to come back then they will lose a someone, much like yourself. In time I may allow you to write them.”

I just looked at the table--  I had lost my appetite,  I couldn’t eat  with him sitting there.

“The community has fallen on hard times for a while now,”  he began “I want United Light  to grow with faithful members so, I  needed new generations and I needed them quickly . You parents are some of the most faithful and then  you reached sexual maturity at such a late age, well  that is why I was so intent on having you marry.  You were sure to have a healthy family.”

I knew it wasn’t an apology  . . .  it couldn’t be.  He was just explaining why he needed me to marry Sawyer so badly.

 “Anyway,” Caine continued, “ It looks like we are in more of a defecit than I bargained. 500,000 did not go as far as I wished.”

“That is why you made the commune smaller ?”

“Yes,” he nodded

Was I really having a conversation with him ?

“And it’s community. My job now is to keep everyone together through this hard time  . . . . I’m sorry our job”

He stood up and  took my hand  leading me downstairs to the basement where I was sure he had taken Elisa before, I felt fear as we headed down the stairs, who knew what was down there ?  I tried to stand still and resist but Caine jerked me forward and the TLs came behind us made sure I kept walking.

I was afraid of what I would see in the basement.

 And I had every right to be.

In the middle of the basement floor was a man sitting in a metal backed chair, his hands and wrists were bound to the chair with tape and rope, he  was naked and I could see a small indent of his ribs against his  moving chests. His head was hanging to the floor and  when he heard footsteps  he looked up and directly at me.

I had seen him before

Logan.

That was his name, I had slept in his fiancé and his’s room.

“Mr. Simpson this is my fiancé, Juliana she is actually going to get to marry me,” Caine said running his hand over my tightly bound hair.

“I asked Mr. Simpson to take another wife along with his betrothed and he refused,” Caine said turning to me. “ So, I gave him the chance to become a Tranquility Light and again he refused and threatened to get Ms. Erickson and leave. but as I said before I can’t  have dissenters going about spouting . . .  lies. Mr. Simpson has been our guest for 2 weeks, I have been using him as an example for anyone else who thinks they can leave. We need to keep everyone together after all.”

Still firmly clasping my hand Caine walked us closer to Logan,  I saw small red marks all over his body, similar to Sawyer’s burns, their were long and curving red lines all down his body. I briefly glimpsed his face,  his eyes  seemed dead and empty he looked like he was barely alive.

He was a man without life, Caine was trying to scare me.

 And it was working

“Mr. Simpson hasn’t eaten since he has been here.Your job is to keep him alive, like a pet animal” Caine laughed “But, just barely.”

I saw a new TL who had been sitting in the basement come up to me with a bowl of what looked like chicken broth. He shoved it in my hands and  I took it from him unsure of what to do. I turned to see Caine and the TLs were standing back, they were watching from  a distance.

I was still unsure of what I should do but, I knew he was a starving man.

A I got closer to the chair and Logan spit on me.

I was afraid ;I wanted run away.

How had I gotten into this nightmare ?

“I’m sorry,” I said, I have no idea why I said that

I could feel the TLs watching me—watching us, I wanted Logan to know that none of this was my choice and that I was trapped like him but, in reality I wasn’t suffering like him at all.

But I could be.

It was awkward trying to figure out how to position myself.

I settled on kneeling on the ground just to the side of him, I picked up the spoon and brought the it to his mouth. I braced myself for him to spit on me again or to remain unmoved but,  he opened his mouth, I saw some of his teeth were missing when I looked down I saw them on the floor.

I tried not to cry but a tear slipped from my eye, and the spoon rattled in my shaking hand.

Caine was playing games and he was winning.

When I had scraped out all of the broth that I could, the TL came over and pulled me away from Logan.

I  was escorted back upstairs and the basement door was locked behind me, I hoped to see a way I could break in  and try to help Logan but, I could not catch the code being put in and the lock also had a   a fingerprint censor.

“You will sit in on the tranquility light training sessions,” Caine said acting as though what just happened was nothing, “You will help all of my newly formed departments you-“

“Why ?” I asked

“Because, you will either learn to accept it all or you will be such a knowledgeable asset that no one will question when I have you killed or worse.”

I was sure I saw a hint of a smile on his face.

“Why can’t you let Logan go?” I knew no one would miss me like he was being missed

“You show the consequences of defecting it stops the rest. If you don’t want to feed him you don’t have to  . . . you can kill him yourself, it’s all your decision. But I don’t think you can take hearing a starving man beg for food. I know he wants to see his family again so, his life is really in your hands.”

We were walking outside and into the SUV. I was once again bordered by the TL’s and I watched out the windows as the car drove along, I wanted to know where we were going but decided not to ask. We were at the farthest edge of the commune in the middle of the dense wood area  I had always thought was water.  I saw a plain looking building in the distance.

The car pulled up to the building and we walked inside and  it was empty on the inside and lookied like a studio; just an empty space with a mirrored walls and a wooden floor.  I was led into a tiny room beside the studio where I could see the studio space  through a two-way mirror.

I sat in the only chair in the space while Caine and TL152 went into the studio space. I sat in silence watching the empty studio when I turned my attention to the TL was standing with me.

TL153

He had been with me the entire time, he was the one who had tied me to my bed, stood inside my bedroom and watched as I argued with my parents about not wanting to marry Caine. He had experienced everything I had up until this point. He looked to be near my age, his face had hard features, he had long eyelashes and flushed cheeks but his lips were always in the same serious line. Could it be possible he would sympathize with me ?  

Could he be my way out ?

“ What’s your name ?” I asked

He didn’t change his emotion-less expression and kept looking ahead.

“My name is Rhett” he said and then briefly looked at me, despite the warm brown color of his eyes he stare was cold,”And my job is to protect Caine and guard his bride not make friends,”

I couldn’t see how he could not see something wrong with me being Cane’s bride,but he seemed undisturbed.

I wanted to ask him more question but, I heard the door open and I saw a group of young men . They all had the same close shaved hair and were all wearing the same dark blue pants,light blue shirt, necktie and jacket as Rhett, except Rhett’s was covered in different patches and buttons.

The men all stood by the door as Garrett Reiter walked in and greeted Caine.

 I remembered him.

Garrett was wearing the same uniform as the men and he announced to them he will be showing them how to properly arm and  disarm themselves.

 He pulled of the rifle that was strapped around his torso,  in the holster around his waist he took out a shotgun,  a taser ,an a handful of different  tranquilizers one was clear and one was dark blue the rest fell somewhere in between the two shades. He reminded them that the darker the substance was dyed the more deadly. Inside of his jacket was a knife, as well as a kind of club with dull points on the edge.  

I stole a glance at the still stoic  Rhett, was he really  carrying the same lethal stuff ?

As the TL’s began to disarm themselves Garrett lectured on how important being a TL was and how  they were the shining light in the new era. A cadaver was wheeled in and they all took turns shooting, trying to find the best way to kill or torture someone with each weapon if it came to it.

I knew I was going to be sick.

20.3

From there I was escorted back into the car and to Caine’s home where I was locked in what appeared to be  a conference room.

“Where is Caine ?” I asked Rhett.

“He is giving his address to the members. He is not ready for you to be seen” he said.

Rhett took a key from around his waist and unlocking the door walked out. When the door shut I ran to it and tried to pull it off but, it was bolted shut.

I sat for 2 hours until Caine came into the room followed by a group of people who did not acknowledge me.  I listened as they discussed words and things I was blanking out on, I couldn’t believe this was happening. He had people tell him about how much had been produced and the money coming in and out, I could not ignore the negative number. Everyone seemed frustrated but Caine did not.

He never showed an emotion.

“This defecit will continue,” Caine said, “But, hopefully this new generation in years  will prosper. I have faith my changes will turn everything around.”

Caine did not want people anymore, he needed them to keep the United Light going,  I wondered how long this had been going on ?

After the meeting I was escorted back upstairs and locked back into the room, in the corner of the room, beside the window there was a small table with a bowl of soup on it. I looked out the window and imagined it was getting to be evening, I turned to  Rhett who was by the door waiting, watching.

“How long will I be  locked in here ?” I asked

“Until morning,” Rhett answered

“What about Logan ?." I did not want him to have to starve, especially when I knew he was so close.

“We give him food to keep him alive,” he said “Once a day is enough,”

I pushed the bowl of soup to the side of the table and sat on the bed.

Eating seemed irrelevant to me. I couldn’t after thinking about Logan.

Could one missing person cause so much ruckus ?

I had to get out of here. There was still no wedding officially,  I will mourn my parents (who I will never see again) and what they would think but, I can't live like this . . .with this. I would need to come back for Logan.

 I glanced in the corner to see Rhett still in the far corner.

I  walked casually to the chair by the desk.

I pulled it out like  I was going to sit down but, instead I lifted it up and threw it towards the window , before the chair made contact I was shoved to the ground hard by Rhett. Either he had moved extremely quickly or I had reacted extremely slowly. I screamed as loud as I could as I felt the  hard pistol crushing the small my back. With his full weight on me, he pulled a syringe out of his pocket. I could see it was dyed a darker blue, I attempted to fight whenI felt the familiar sting.

 

---------

When I came to I was feeling drowsy, I was  handcuffed to the bed and  there was a chair beside me. I looked into the corner of the room to see Rhett whispering something into his earpiece. A few minutes  later Caine walked in holding a laptop. They all looked fuzzy.

“I am very disappointed,” Caine said sitting in the chair,”Couldn't last barely a day. You are here for me and are not allowed to leave, I was sure I made that clear. You are still a child though and to teach children they must be punished,” he said showing me the laptop screen.

It was on a news website with a video queued up. He played it and I heard a reporters voice, but the only words that I could make out  were the words arson and burned  I looked on the screen  to see the house on Blue Orchid and  Cortland’s car was out front but the house was  in ashes.

“The fire claimed the life of—“

Caine shut the screen.

“No,” I said, it couldn’t be. I tried to figure what day it was and if they would be in the house but, there was no schedule in the house. What if it was Cortland ?

What would Hunt do without his older brother ?

“No one was killed this time but, next time you even think of trying anything there will be a body by the side of the road," Caine warned

I tried to nod but my head felt heavy.

I was soon falling asleep again.

I knew I was out for a long time but, I didn’t know how long and I was awoken by the feeling of the sun on my skin and  Rhett breathing quietly over me. I looked up to see my arms had been handcuffed to the top of my bed by a plastic cuff.

 Rhett pushed the hem of the nightdress up--someone must have changed my clothes-- and put his hand under my thigh, I felt a prick and I searing burn, I turned my head to see him emptying a syringe with clear liquid into me. After a second he pulled it out and throwing it into a bright orange trashcan walked back to his position by the door.

I was easy to learn routines

An outfit was waiting by my door and I changed and went down to eat cereal. After I had eaten  I was led back down to the basement.

The TL who was guarding Logan handed me a plate of rice off of the floor.

I looked down into the plate and saw a spider crawling through it, I quickly took it out hoping Logan did not see.

“I missed you yesterday,” Logan said

Had I really slept through and entire day ? My acting out and been drugged,  had  caused him to miss a meal. My consequences affected everyone.

 The girl who had no strings was suddenly Pinocchio.

“I’m sorry,” I said

He had a sweet voice and hearing it made me feel bad for not seeing him as a real person I had first seen him. I saw Rhett was standing in the far corner and the TL who was guarding Logan was not paying attention to me

“What do they do to you ?” I asked

“Nothing . . . in a white” I could tell he was thankful.

I considered what Caine had said about me being in charge of his life. I could easily give control of Logans life back to who it belonged to.

“Do you want to die?”I asked him stirring the rice.

“No” he said,”I have a family and Rosa I can’t let them think I abandoned them.”

“It’s almost impossible to  escape here,” I said,kneeling down  beside him.

“One moment with the people I love is worth it,” he said,”This is now way to die,”

I couldn’t agree with him but, I picked up the spoon and guided it into his open mouth.

“Why didn’t you just become a TL ?”I asked

“I wanted out of all of this, the whole United Light. Do you really want to be Caine’s bride ?”

I didn’t say anything, I never knew who was listening. I couldn’t even fiend the kind of bravery Logan had. It was so much easier not to fight.

 I knew I was getting him out of here and I was taking him to see Rosa.

I finished feeding him in silence.

When I was escorted out of the basement and out of Logan’s site I was inconsolable.

I couldn’t keep doing this.

I can’t.

***

20.4

 

Everyday became the same and I only found one solstice and that was in Logan he seemed to be the only one who made any sense. He would  talk and tell me about his plans for life and how he hated the United Light for what is was and while I never said anything negative out loud, I sympathized.

I woke up before the sun, ate breakfast, watched the TL training, sat through meetings or I was left alone in my room. The desk was becoming populated with psychology and sociology books I was sure I was supposed to read but never did. I only saw the interior of the house and car and training facility my only ‘normal’  conversation came from Caine. It was bizarre.

 My only experiences for human touch came from Rhett in the mornings when he would lift up my nightgown and  pierce my skin with the syringe. When he got close to me, I realized he was actually very good-looking--I wonder what he looked like when he smiled. I pretended to struggle against him for no other reason but so he would hold my hands down-- and touch me. Something about the arrangement could have felt sexual but, those feelings (along with happiness) had all but escaped my body.

Each day I looked for a flaw in the plan in the TLs, they were my biggest adversary. I witnessed how they trained the boys into  men; to trust no one to do what is right with the things they were given.

 I wasn't sure how much time had passed--- I was sure there were days when I slept an entire day--- but it had to have been no more than a week, I was laying in the bed thinking about the monotony of the next day when I suddenly made a realization.

 I had my way out.

The only time, the TLs were unarmed was in there training, they always disarmed for their first exercise.

If I could get out of Rhetts grasp long enough I could run.

It was crude but, better than my other spontaneous plan. I layed up thinking of ways to improve the plan and what I would do if something went wrong.

 

I immediately woke up at the usual time, I was used to it. The schedule suited me   but I didn’t enjoy it. I put on a pair of linen pants and a flowy black top that would be easy to move in if I had to run, no decoration or lace-- nothing to slow me down. I found a pair of flat shoes and put my hair in a tight bun.  I looked around for anything defensive I could use but found nothing.

After I ate my cereal I was taken into the car.

This wasn’t the schedule.

“What about Logan  ?” I asked Rhett but was received with silence.

While Rhett’s stoic-ness made him seem inhuman he atleast usually talked when I asked a question.

We were headed  to the training facility where the TLs in training were already lined up and in the center of the large studio was Logan. He was no longer bound but, I could see the redness around his ankle and wrists.

I lost all of my composure

“What is going on ?” I demanded walking right up to Gareett, all of the boys turned to me in surprise they never knew I watched. I hadn't meant to come of so loud or angry.

Garrett raised his hand to me

“You have no right—“

“It is fine,”I heard Caine's voice I turned to see him standing in the corner,"She may stay in here today,"

 

Caine pulled me over so, I was standing between him Rhett and his TL, TL152. Caine told them all  about Logan and of being a traitor and what happens to them if they betray him citing Logan as an example. Logan remained unmoved in the chair showing no signs of remorse only strength.

Caine stopped talking and stepping back  put his arm around my waist as I watched Garett walk up to  Logan and producing  thick hooked like knife. I had never seen before as soon as I saw it I went to try  grab it from him but Caine held on to me tightly as Garret  cut a slice deep into Logans’s stomach, I heard him gurgling on blood and the sickening sound as he organs spilled out of his body and he fell in a mass of blood on the floor

“No!” I screamed,lunging harder for him but Caine held me back, my blood was boiling, "No!"

He could still be saved.

I heard another slash cut through flesh as the man began to look less like a man.

Garrett gave the men and signal and each of the TL in training pulled out their guns.

"No, Please !" I screamed, pushing so hard against Caine that we were both moved forward and the tips of my flats stood in blood.

Each man delivered a shot at the body like it was just another corpse.  My head was spinning and my  knees locked and I felt like I was going to pass out as I saw brain matter splattering on the walls and bits flying into me.

“No!  No ! Please.”

I felt two hands grab me  as I was led into the back room by Rhett and TL152. Inside the room I saw their was an  open trash can, they let me go and I ran to it and threw up.

I wanted someone to tell me that didn’t happen.

I heard footsteps and saw Caine come in wiping his feet on the ground.

“You’re a monster !” I yelled at him,”I can’t do this,”

I was shocking on vomit and tears but he watched as if nothing was happening.

Caine and the TL's stood passively as I tried to compose myself.

“Why ?” I asked

“Look at those boys in there—look at you-- I scared the hell out of them and I know they will never  dissent against me. I could have shot Logan cold weeks ago but, this makes a much better statement. That knife was heated, searing hot he felt it going in it was pure torture, that gurgling you heard were screams of agony. I will do that to any TL who goes against me and I will do worse to you."

"You're a--"

"Shut up," he said

He approached me and put a neckalace with a single ruby on it around my neck, it felt warm against my chest and it was wet.

“That diamond has been stained with his blood. You will wear it to remember this moment and why you will never leave.”

Caine walked out and still feeling woozy,i took a seat in the chair facing away from the mirror.

I was destroyed.

I knew I wasn’t leaving.

Story by Shawna Harrison

Written by Joel Baker